Day 2: Mr. Right

It seems as though I’ve been looking for the elusive my whole life. You know what I’m talking about, “The One.” And if it weren’t for this nagging feeling which tells me he actually DOES exist I’d be apt to say he’s no more real than the tooth fairy or Santa Clause. Thankfully though, I still believe…and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s right around the corner. I feel like Edison about to discover the light bulb.

*Hands in the air*…   I BELIEVE!  

Truth of the matter is, I’ve been chasing boys since the first grade and could probably tell you who I liked for each one of those years too. (Crazy I know, but true). The journey to find love thus far has been akin to chasing the erratic flight of a butterfly or end of the rainbow…in sight but always out of reach. It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized what I was doing wrong – well, a few things actually, but here are two main ones.

First, to catch a butterfly you must stop chasing it. Sounds counter-intuitive, doesn’t it? However, I swear to you, it does work. This is called “Attracting” Mr. Right, not “Chasing”, “Following” or “Stalking” Mr. Right. I’m not even joking when I say that THE DAY I declared (to myself) that I will be single for one year, I had a different guy ask me out every single day for one week…and all completely out of the blue. It was weird. I swear the Universe was testing me saying, “Are you sure this is what you want?” Yes Universe, I am sure. Unless he’s wearing really great cologne of course, then I turn into Scooby Doo following a Scooby snack. HA! Focus Nicole, focus.

Moving on.

Second, my scope was too broad and too general. What do I mean by that? I didn’t have focus. I knew I was looking for love, but had no idea of what that actually looked like. That’s like going to the ticket counter at the airport and saying “ticket please!”, and the lady says “where to?”, and you reply “I don’t know…somewhere warm?” Sounds silly doesn’t it. It’s no different than saying,

“Boyfriend please!”

“What are you looking for?”

“I don’t know…somebody.”

Now I would bet my bottom dollar that I’m not the only one who has done dating this way before –vague idea, unclear, undecided, and unsure. (I don’t do that now of course, I’m much more clued in and have the wisdom hairs to prove it). What baffles me even more though is how we put MORE time, thought and effort into buying the “right” SHOES for our evening outfit or CAR to drive than we do looking for who we want to spend our WHOLE LIVES with. Umm, I don’t know about you, but that sounds a little odd to me. Doesn’t that sound a little odd to you? I see you nodding your head. You know it’s true.

So here’s what I’ve done. Over the years I’ve compiled a list of what it is I am looking for – values, belief systems, interests, etc. I’ve consciously written about it AND I’ve even created a vision board strictly for relationships so that the qualities of what it is I am looking for are always at the top of my mind. There’s no question about it, I KNOW what I want, I am very clear about it…and I am willing to wait for it. Why? Because I know what I bring to the table, and I know that I’m worth it. Quite simple really.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so for the curious already asking me, here’s a sneak peak at my relationship Vision Board I did exactly one year ago:

If I had to put into words what it is I want here’s the long and short of it.

First and foremost, I’m looking for my best friend. Someone to live, laugh, and grow with; dream, love, and play with; connect, communicate, and cuddle with; share, feel, and click with; travel, explore, get lost with; cook, clean, and watch movies with; celebrate, make magic, and grow old with. Get the idea?

Now the qualities I look for are too many to list here, and I will probably post them later in the year when I revisit this topic. However, when I discussed relationships with my grandpa last year while out on a drive in the country, he gave me the best piece of advice which I’ll never forget. He told me “find someone who is passionate about their work.” Why? Because how they do one thing, is how they do EVERYTHING. And I have to agree with him on this one. My best relationships have always been with those who were very dedicated and passionate about what they do…just like I am with what I do. And truthfully, when I say it’s how they do everything, I mean EVERYTHING. *wink wink, nudge nudge…meow!* Just saying. LOL  ;)

Alright, that’s enough from me today. Stay tuned tomorrow as I start to tackle one of my greatest challenges. What is it? You’ll have to wait and see!