Day 22: Rapunzel, Rapunzel…Let Down Your Hair!

I told you from the beginning I was going to be very open, honest and candid. So here’s my story, well part of it anyway. A rather minute part, but nonetheless, it is still very significant in understanding where I am coming from and what I am overcoming this year. Welcome to the different “layers” of me.

Hair, we all have it…or at least had it at some point. For some it is a way to beautify, for others it is just to keep the old noggin warm. To me, hair is a big deal, but not for the typical girlie-girl aesthetic “I want to look pretty” reasons either, although yes, it is nice to have a nice doo too. It has always been more than that for me. Hair to me represents a sense of regained power and control.

Huh?

Yeah, I know it is weird, but hear me out. Everyone has something. Mine will make sense shortly.

Every time I go through a major life change or crisis I cut my hair, and usually to a pretty DRASTIC new look too. I mean from really REALLY long to buzzed in the back boy-short. My first cut didn’t count though. I did it because I was 6, my hair was in my eyes, I was really independent, and of course I did it right before school picture day. By the time I was done “evening out” my crooked bangs I had none left…just a really long forehead to look at. LOL!  My brother was worse with his self haircut though…he had down to the scalp patches. Hilarious to think back on it actually. I still remember it like it was yesterday. *Sigh*…kids will be kids!

So besides my earlier experimentation with the scissors, the first time I got my hair cut short was when I was 12. I had incredibly long beautiful hair and I cut it down to a mushroom cut. BAD IDEA! But I did it because I was going through a really rough time. Quite honestly it was my silent passive aggressive “f-you” to the world and all those in it who hurt me up to that point. It was a form of “I’ll show YOU who’s boss!” Now I know that would sound crazy to those who don’t understand the psychology of it, however it was the only thing that a 12 year-old has control over. It was a symbolic form of letting go of the past and starting over new again, clean slate. And when I did it, it temporarily restored peace to my soul.

Then I did it again three years ago at the age of 27 when I moved here to BC to start my life anew.

It is time though, to let that belief go. I have finally come to a time and place in life where I see more clearly, and I am ready to move on. I’ve done enough self work to know that my power doesn’t lie in my hair, no more than it does my fingers or toes. There is nothing to prove, as I already know that I am enough, and there is no one to assert myself to except to me. All my answers are right here.

So with that said, part of this year’s challenge has been to let my hair grow out. I no longer feel the need to keep it short in order to feel powerful because I already know that I AM powerful. And although I know it will take much longer than one year to grow back, it is and will be a process of reclaiming myself inch by inch and restoring my feminine energy back to balance. I don’t know about you, but I am actually quite excited!

For those of you curious to know what the end product will be like, here is a photo of me right before I chopped it all off in 2007.

A little different eh?