Day 30: The One Month Marker

Can you believe that one month of blogging has already gone by? I can hardly believe it myself. Time just seems to fly by, and far too fast. I never really understood how time can seem to stand still when you are young. I remember thinking how a day seemed like forever, and I would often find myself saying, “Is today done yet?”

Now I am finding the opposite to be true, saying “Where did the day go?” To that I say, I’m not really sure.

Anyway, as promised before in a previous blog post I said that I would do a follow-up on my progress mid-month and end of month…and here we are at my first month mark.

Now I wish I had some mega miracle change to tell you all about, but I don’t….not yet. But here is what I have noticed thus far.

I have noticed that when you are looking to build something fantastic from something that already exists, there needs to be some tearing down and removal of old parts that no longer work in order to make things anew and fresh again. It is a necessary part of the building process that requires time and patience. So far this month I have been feeling the effects of it, and I am only half way through. Even my gut knew something big was about to happen this month, which if you look back, was even foreshadowed in my March 1^st post. I remember feeling a dark, ominous, not-so-great, intuitive feeling lurking in the pit of my stomach that day. Can’t explain how I know things sometimes, I just do. So now, when I take a step back and look at what is going on, it looks as though, and feels as though, I am being deconstructed and broken down in all areas of my life (as I originally asked to happen), so that I may be built back up again. In essence, I am both literally and figuratively being detoxified – detoxify meaning “to remove; to get rid of and purify”. And let me tell you, in the process I feel as though I have been run over by a MAC truck, twice over.

Deconstructing beliefs, habits, and everything else in between that hasn’t been working has definitely worn me out and broken me down, however my mother and my father never raised a quitter. I have taken a few hard knocks this month, yes; and I have also experienced some very scary awakenings that have shaken me up quite a bit and brought me to my knees (those of which I will share with you another time), but none of which will keep me on the ground for long. What I have learned from everything thus far is where my major weaknesses are. Having them stare back at me has been both an awakening and a blessing, because now I can take a good honest look at them and progressively work from there. I can no longer hide from truth. And believe it or not, I am actually thankful for such a HUGE learning curve and eye-opening experience. Awareness is half the battle; leaping into action is the rest…learn and grow, and learn some more. True failure only happens when you choose to not get back up again. And you best believe that I will always rise again, for in this lifetime, I know I am meant to fly. So too are you.

I believe Robert Frost said it best when he said, “The only way out is through.”

And I believe I say it best when I say, “Mr. Right…when all is said and done, you better be bringing me flowers!”   LOL