Day 76: I Look Like a Bobble Head Thing-A-Ma-Jig

I am happy to say that I am a lot more alive and well today. Last night I was looking more like a bobble-head as I tried my hardest to keep my eyeballs open long enough to put coherent sentences together. Didn't really work all that well though. Apparently I do have limitations.

I received an interesting message yesterday from a reader of mine who has been following my sleep plight and sent me a link to something called a "sleep calculator" (http://sleepyti.me/). Being desperate to get a good night’s sleep these days, I am thinking…what have I got to lose!?

 So I checked it out and apparently our body runs on "sleep cycles" which run in 90 minute intervals...meaning that every 90 minutes we restart a new sleep cycle. And it so happens that this magical sleep timer actually calculates when you should wakeup given the time you go to bed. Brilliant! It also explains why I always have my best sleep at 3, 6 and 9 hours of rest and if I have anything in between I feel like poo.

What’s more is that it takes us approximately 14 minutes to actually fall asleep. So if you are like me and planning your sleep schedule now, remember to tack on that extra little bit. This also explains why cat naps shouldn't be more that 15min either, and why you end up feeling groggy when you do.

I am sure you know by now that I am quite the curious monkey. I like to learn, explore and educate myself on new things, and I usually do so hands on because that’s the way I learn best. So being the curious monkey that I am, I went ahead and tried the sleep calculator suggestion last night. And to my surprise it worked. I actually ended up waking up naturally after only three sleep cycles though, then back to sleep again for the fourth...which still equals my six hours. For optimum sleep results I should be doing 5-6 sleep cycles per night which is either 7.5 or 9 hours of sleep. So now that I got the first six hours under my belt, I am going to try for an hour & a half more which would bring me to five sleep cycles, and then see how I do.

*crossing fingers*

Before I continue sharing with you though, I just want to add this disclaimer: I am not Woo-Woo. I don’t like Woo-Woo, and it creeps me out for reasons I won’t share so as not to offend anyone. With that said though, since I have been doing all this “clearing out” stuff, I have been having some interesting things happen to me over the last while that I just can’t explain. Some of it trippy, some of it down right fascinating.

So here is what I have noticed. It appears as though the more balanced I become in my sleep and nutrition and everything else, the more my clients benefit too. It has become apparent to me that the more I work on me, the more present and clear I become which has translated into a higher volume of client spiritual awakenings or experiences. Personally, this thrills me to no end because this is what I have been looking to create all along and it means that I am on the right track.

Now before you say, “Girrrl, what are you smoking?”…I SWEAR to you that I am not on any sort of illegal drug. I have never actually done them, EVER. Living in BC, I feel like one of the Last Mohicans. I don’t smoke, I rarely drink, and I don’t even take Tylenol or Advil for goodness sakes! The one and only time I ever took a drug was in 2006 when I was prescribed a painkiller for a pretty severe injury I had. I only ever took one pill and tossed the rest out after they made me totally body-numb and vegged out so much I couldn’t get up off the floor, couldn’t move my arms to wipe the drool from my face, and couldn’t even call out to my brother to help me. So I sat there against my bed until the fuzzy brain left and I could move again…which seemed like a really long time. Needless to say I don’t like drugs. And before you ask, no I can’t get you some of those either!  ;o)

So yes, back to my original point - I promise you that I am normal and perfectly sane…whatever that is supposed to mean.

Day 75: Fuzzy Brain & Writer’s Block

You know what? I am just going to be totally honest with you and tell you that I am feeling a little burnt out and have writer’s block today. I do have some great topics lined up, however try as I might, it is already past 1am and I can’t seem to get it together because I am going fuzzy brained. My thinking process just isn’t capable of writing something of quality right now.

Time for another regularly scheduled maintenance of the eyeballs…those darn pesky holes!

Good night world!

Day 74: Eat Right For Your Blood Type – What Type Are You?

I am not sure if you noticed or not, but I added some things to my blog that you might find very interesting. I added tips for sleep, eating right, and detoxifying to the “Tips on How to Live Your Best Life” column on the right. Of these, the ones I have been working on lately are sleep and food because if I don’t get enough of either of those, this gentle lamb can turn into a bear…RAWRRRRR!

So as you know, I have been working on the sleep issue for quite some time now. Well, basically since I started this blog. It has been a progressive process, and I have successfully doubled my sleeping hours from 3hrs to 6hrs since I started two months ago. Lately I have even gotten either 7 or 8 hours a couple of times; however I still don’t feel rested. The good news is that I no longer suffer from fuzzy brain, which is fantastic, but oddly I feel more tired. As weird as this may sound, I feel my best after 3, 6 or 9hours of sleep…but nothing more and nothing less. Not only that, but I seem to be getting more tired a lot earlier. Instead of my previous bedtime between 1-3am (sometimes 4am), I now struggle to keep my lids open at 10pm! Is this normal? If anyone has a good explanation for it, I would love to know. Perhaps I am readjusting to “normal” people’s hours? Anyway, I shall keep you updated if anything new happens out of all of that.

What has really captured my attention lately though is food. It is no secret that I love it, and lots of it. So when I hired a personal trainer for a couple months late last year who put me on a strict raw vegetarian diet, I thought I would die. I tried it out for two months though, and I must say I am quite impressed with myself. I never strayed from it, not even once that whole time. Not only that, but I did the extreme diet shift during the Christmas holidays. THAT was tough…but I did it. I found out that dedication, commitment and perseverance can take you very far. I stopped for a couple of different reasons though, the main one being that it simply was not right for me. Our bodies are not all created equally, and I found myself getting very sluggish, very low energy, and had an appetite that would never satisfy itself. Not only that, but I craved meat like you wouldn’t believe, which is weird in itself because I typically don’t eat a whole lot anyway. However, when I finally broke down and ate a steak my energy seemed to return. Now I am not sure if it has to do with the iron content or not, but I did decide to get curious. And then I was introduced to the link http://www.drlam.com/blood_type_diet/index.asp which I found quite fascinating.

Now, before I continue, I just want to say one thing. I have to give props to my mom. Why? Because she has been right all along, my whole life, and for whatever reason I have ALWAYS resisted ANYTHING she has ever told me growing up. I used to tell her that I never wanted to be a massage therapist like her because touching people I did not know was weird…and here I am following in her footsteps. I also told her that I didn’t want to read the same “weird” books she reads, but guess what is in my library…the same books. And when she told me about eating healthy and this book called “Eat Right for Your Blood Type”, I didn’t listen to her about that either. And guess what…that link on the right of my blog page, is a link about exactly that. God bless her for putting up with such a stubborn independent daughter who had to find everything out MY OWN WAY…the hard way. Oh the irony!

So as it turns out I am a blood type “O”, which according to the book means that I am meant to be a meat eater. It also turns out that all the foods that I have been eating, including when I went raw vegetarian, are all the wrong foods for me. It makes sense though because my stomach usually hurt afterwards. So I am re-learning what it is that my body needs to function at its full capacity. I am also doing something different this time to make this a permanent lifestyle change that sticks…harm reduction.

What is that? Well, it is something I learned when I got my degree in Professional Counselling. In the counseling world, it is usually used when referring to substance abuse and means that instead of quitting “cold turkey”, try to slowly ease off of the substance so that your body can adjust more naturally instead of shocking it. So that is what I am doing with my food. Basically, I am weaning myself off from food that is not all that great for my blood type (although perfectly fine for other types). I am now choosing healthier choices from my “Type O” grocery list, and introducing them into my current diet. The more I get comfortable with these new foods, the easier it is to phase out the not so healthy choices one at a time so not to overwhelm myself with too many changes…and it seems to be working really well. Not only that, but I have found out that I am actually a pretty good cook. Who knew!

Let’s just hope that Mr. Right is a type O as well…that would make things a lot easier.

Not sure of your blood type? The best and cheapest (free) way to do it is to donate blood. Bonus part about that is, while helping yourself you are also helping someone else. Remember: “It’s in you to give”.

Day 73: A Banana Split Without The Banana

Now I know that yesterday I mentioned that I was going to let you in on what has been going on lately, however you are going to have to wait just a little longer…SORRY! I am actually waiting on some really important info to write the blog properly, so if I write about it today it would be premature and lacking some very essential things. It would be like telling you that I made a banana split for you, but without the banana. Kind of essential.

So please bear with me. I am just waiting on some important info and I hope to have it ready to share with you for tomorrow. In the meantime though, I would really like to hear what topics you would like me to discuss in the coming months.

Day 72: WIN!

Well that was easy.

Today was a total win. I am not exactly proud of only sleeping for an hour and a half last night, as sleep deprivation is nothing to be proud of. To be proud of it would be like saying, “YAY, look at me, I didn’t eat today and just starved myself! Isn’t that fantastic?” I think not. Sounds a bit extreme maybe, but it is essentially the same thing.

So no, the lack of sleep is not the win; however the presentation I did this morning which I wrote last night sure was! You know what else I discovered? When all else fails, as you are presenting and you can no longer see the words on your paper…just be yourself. I am definitely not a seamless polished presenter, but I am very real, which helps people relate better I think. Either way the cookie crumbles, I got good reviews from people, so I am a happy camper…please pass the marshmallows!

So now with one major thing down, time to refocus and get cracking on my next project and set of goals. It is now time to tackle the one thing that is at the root of everything for me, including my sleepless nights…Finances. The more I dig, the more I discover, and THIS one is the key to unlocking what I have been wanting all along. And believe it or not, it has very little to do with money.

Stay tuned tomorrow for when I let you in on what is and has been going on. Hopefully what I share will be able to help others who are in the same boat too. Time to row WITH the current.

Day 71: Procrastination

To procrastinate or not procrastinate, that is the question. If by procrastinating you reveal some of your best work, is it still a bad thing? Do I fight against what seemingly is, or do I work with it to have it work for me?

I am not sure what it is about procrastination, but sometimes it works for me and in other ways it doesn’t. When it comes to major projects I always seem to get it done on time, but usually the night before. As far as I can remember, I have always been this way. I think it is the combination of the pressure and adrenaline which creates an intense focus and flow of thoughts that thankfully always reveals my finest work. Unfortunately though, I usually complete my projects at an ungodly hour, so there is always a price to pay. Nevertheless, I still enjoy the sense of accomplishment I feel at the end.

Unfortunately though, tonight I will have to break my six hours of sleep rule (which I have been doing REALLY well on by the way!), as it is almost 2am, and I have to be up at 4am. What is crazier is that I am WIDE awake. Excitement and nerves I presume.

Ok, I will try and get some sleep. Let’s just hope the sheep don’t get tired before I do.

Day 70: Are Dust Bunnies Cousins With The Easter Bunny?

And if so, where is my chocolate? Yeah right, I wish!

It has been said that our outer world is a reflection of our inner world; our home a reflection of how we feel inside and what is currently going on in our lives. And with me turning my life upside down, getting rid of the old to make room for the new, it would also make sense as to why my room looks like the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party…a little chaotic and nonsensical. Not sure who invited the dust bunnies to the party either, but they have certainly outstayed their welcome.

So I started with my spring cleaning today. It only seemed appropriate seeing as things in my life are starting to take shape and form into something that is working much better. As I make small strides of progress in my life, so too does my room. Funny how that is.

Over the next few weeks I will be undergoing some major shifts in the financial realm which I am very excited about, so I will keep you updated with the progress when I know more. Not out of the fire yet, but at least someone turned down the heat! THANK YOU GOD! I tell you, I was sweating.

Now that the tearing down phase is complete it is time to clean up and rebuild. Back to the drawing board to set some goals/plans for myself and then git ‘er done! NOW I am excited.  =o)

And for those who celebrate this holiday weekend…Happy Easter! Much love to you all.

Day 69: Laughter Is The Best Medicine

Wow, you can tell that I wrote yesterdays post when I was tired, or at least I can. I think I need to start writing in the mornings when I first have the ideas and inspiration…which would require me to go to bed a heck of a lot earlier too. Still working on that. I AM getting better though! I am now at a consistent six hours of sleep, and I have noticed that my sleep rhythm is changing. I find myself naturally shutting down earlier and earlier, and wanting to wake up earlier and earlier. Apparently my body is trying to readjust itself from all my bad habits.

Anyway, today I am going to switch it up a little bit. For the past two days I have been doing things that uplift my soul and spirit, and remind me of what life is about. Being alive. Not only do I feel alive and rejuvenated as if life has been breathed back into me, I have also been smiling so big on the inside that my outside simply cannot contain it. I am beaming from the inside out.  Why? Because I actually took time out for me, and I took time out to appreciate the finer things that life has to offer – fun, friendship, and laughter.  And seeing that these things are best shared with others, I would like to share it with you.  And if you enjoy it, then perhaps you can pass it along to others so that they can enjoy it too. A little laughter and lightheartedness goes a long way.

So the first of the two things that I did this weekend involved a park, me, a girlfriend, two big bubbles, and a willingness to be silly. My girlfriend owns a company called Water Bubbles (www.waterbubbles.net) and just got a new product line in called “Body Bubbles” which we got to test out. I personally LOVE being a guinea pig for anything fun, and ESPECIALLY if it is odd. Take a peek at these super short videos (20sec or less) to see what I mean.

My friend loves the one of me falling down the best (video #2). Go figure! I am pretty tall, so it was a long way down to the ground…hence the sound effects I made. LOL! My personal favorite though is where I sumo jump her (video #3). When it comes to play time, I am a six foot tall kid at heart and ruthless. Don't worry though, my friend gets her revenge in video #4. Needless to say, with two grownups in bubbles looking like giant lollipops, chasing each other around the park, we kind of gathered a bit of attention. My only advice for when you try it…do not eat directly prior. I did, and rolling down the hill nearly made it a Body BLAAAH-bble. That COULD have been very gross. No need to say more.

The second of the two things I did this weekend involved me laughing so hard I cried. Now, I don’t know how many of you out there have iPhones and have trouble with the autocorrect, but I do. And when I came across this one website dedicated to iPhone autocorrect blunders, I nearly died laughing. With over 300 pages of hilarious texts guaranteed to have you LITERALLY laughing out loud, I swear there is never an excuse to have a bad day again. The site is called www.damnyouautocorrect.com. If you have not yet seen it, I HIGHLY encourage you to do so. You will not regret it. Personally, I think I will start and end my day reading these. Seriously now, my cheeks hurt. LOL

Altogether I would say that those two things combined made for one fantastic weekend. It is true what they say, laughter is the best medicine…and I hope you have enjoyed a double dose here today.

Day 68: RE-Defining Success

Why is it that when we, as a culture, think of success we define it by merely financial stature? Is there not more to be said about success than just money? I mean think about it. If money were truly the definition of success, then shouldn’t all the people who have it be happy? Then why aren’t they?

Success, to me, is far greater than the limitations of money alone, although yes it does include it. I actually think that money is only the by-product of something much greater. The definition of success as I see it is success in all areas of life: mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually…or as others may understand it as the mind, the heart, the body, and the soul.

 Not sure where you stand? Then ask yourself…am I living my highest potential? How are my relationships? Do I love my job? Am I happy? Am I healthy? Do I speak well of myself and others? Would these not ALSO be the definition of success? Yes. You see, success isn’t just one thing, it is everything. When all things are in balance and harmony with each other, then I would say you have reached true success.

And just so you know, by the end of this year of blogging, my goal is to BE that true definition of success.

Day 67: Taking Back Control

If there is one thing in life that I am weak at, it is finances. But it doesn’t always have to be that way. I can change it if I want to; I do have the power to do such things. We all do.

Identifying and acknowledging that there is a problem I believe is the first step to creating positive change. I mean, if I can’t even acknowledge something isn’t working, how could I even go about changing it, right? After the discovery it is really just about fine tuning and ironing out the details. So that is what I am in the process of. I discovered my greatest weakness, and now I am taking action upon it. I am excited about all of this too actually because I am finally doing what I should have been doing all along. Yes, I know I just “should” on myself; however life could have been so much easier had I learned how to manage money and take control of where my money goes in the first place. It is definitely the more responsible route. Oh well, live and learn.

On a brighter note, re-working my finances has indirectly created a positive impact in other areas of my life as well. I am becoming more present. It is making me learn the art of self-discipline, which has also caused me to pay more attention to what food I put in my body too. I am experiencing the domino effect, where when you change one thing, you indirectly influence many things. And you know what? I have also discovered that I am not that bad of a cook either! Go figure.

So amidst the many changes currently taking place I actually feel a peaceful calm and a sense of re-empowerment beginning to settle in. And being able to check items off my To-Do List is not only super satisfying but it also reminds me that I am just that much closer to my dream of being financially free – which for now means debt free.

Who knew that getting back to “zero” would be so exciting!

Day 66: Be Grateful For Your Struggles

You know what I am grateful for? Life’s challenges and struggles. I know that sounds odd and you must be thinking that I am crazy, but I assure you that I am perfectly sane. Here is my take on why.

It is so easy to live life blissfully ignorant of our choices, and then deny them when they don’t work out. Well actually I lie, it is much harder; turning a blind eye is easy, the consequences are hard. So when my financial circumstances that I currently face became so blatantly obvious that I could not keep travelling down the road I am on, life MADE me do something about it. I don’t recommend this route however; it is very hard, scary, and unnecessary. Yet despite the fear I feel, I am still grateful for all that is occurring in my life right now. Why? Because I can actually see the big picture and why everything is unfolding the way it is. It is perfect actually. I got myself in a pickle and now it is time to take responsibility for it and take action.

And so I find that it is through the struggle that you dig deep and find within the resources and inner strength you never knew you had. You think different and you act different. There is more urgency and sense of purpose as everything is more a matter of survival. There is strong intent and focus to every task because there has to be. Things get done because there is no room for messing around or mucking up. It is as if in those moments there is a tunnel vision straight to the goal line, and nothing is impossible because you don’t just want it, you NEED it. And it appears to me that when the NEED is strong enough, you will move hell or high water to achieve it. It is the struggle that moves us forward, not the complacency.

With that, I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes:

“Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it.” –Sir Winston Churchill

Goodnight!

Day 65: Wax On, Wax Off

Oh, how I wish I were talking about the movie classic “The Karate Kid” and the ancient wisdoms of Mr. Miyagi. But no, I am not. Instead, this young grasshopper got a little too curious and learned a lesson in pain today. I actually had a treat in store for you, a hilarious audio file of my first time waxing session…and for the life of me I wish I meant my eyebrows. I thought sharing it (audio only obviously) would be funny, as I really didn’t know what to expect. And for some sadistic reason a lot of you readers really enjoy seeing me in pain. Sick people! The bummer part was that I accidently pushed the record button twice, so I didn’t get a darn thing. Which was really too bad, because I swear you would be rolling on the floor laughing by the first “HOLY GOD!” In all honesty, if felt like someone ripped my eyes out through my hooha. I think I nearly passed out.

To think that I actually PAID someone to do that to me is crazy. In my opinion, hot wax should be reserved for candles and cars. Why women CHOOSE to slather it on and THEN proceed to rip their hair out by the root is beyond me. Definitely not more fun than a barrel ‘o monkeys…but darn more entertaining! I had my spa lady laughing, and I got a few smirks from the staff as I paid and left. I tell you though, if I walked into that spa waiting for my turn and I heard what came out of my mouth…I would have walked right back out thinking “NO FRICKEN WAY!!” I feel sorry for the ladies who had to go after me. What’s more is that I had originally scheduled myself to head on over to my physio directly after. Thankfully I had enough sense to cancel, because I don’t think I could have handled a double-whammy owwie. Had I done so, I swear I would not be able to walk. If I were able, I’d be the one gimping.

But the fun doesn’t stop there! Oh no. Want to hear something even crazier? I re-booked. They tell me round two is less painful. I’ll be the judge of that. And hopefully I remember the audio file next time too!

Excuse me while I rock myself awhile and go to my happy place.

Day 64: Always, Always Do Your Best

The majority of the comments about my blog you don’t see. Most of them are sent to me personally, although I would strongly encourage the commentators to share it here where all can see. Why? Because so much can be learned through a conversation, and you just never know where your words will land upon someone else. Sometimes it is your words, not mine, that help and make all the difference to someone else. There is power in collective thinking and sharing. Two heads truly is better than one.

Sharing thoughts with each other is what I am looking to create – an open sharing conversation where everyone can contribute. Words are like ripples on the pond, they don’t just affect me, they are far reaching. If something inspires you, say so. If something bothers you, say so. It is okay here. It is safe. I am not here to judge, and comments can always be done anonymously. Just as I tell the students I teach, the learning and the value is in the engaging and the participation. I actually WANT to hear your opinions and what you have to say. And of course, for anything I deem inappropriate I would certainly have enough discernment not to post.

So with that prelude, I would like to talk about a comment I received from another great friend of mine whom I love dearly, and I know loves me too. I don’t ever mention names here as to protect people and their privacy, so I am hoping he doesn’t mind. I am sure I will find out tomorrow.

Anyway, I received the comment from above said friend, which kind of struck me the wrong way. Luckily I know him well enough to know that he has the best of intentions, but admittedly I got offended and hurt when I read it. Well at first anyway. Apparently after reading a few of my posts his perception was that I was rushed and didn’t care about my blog and that I should spend more time on it if I wanted people to read it and take it more seriously….which obviously I do. And although I got angry and offended when I first read it and it took me a day to let it pass over, I am actually very grateful that he sent it and expressed how he felt. Why? Because there is a lesson in it.

That is the beauty of life…there is always a lesson if you are willing to see past the surface of what you see, to what you do not see.

So the lesson this time around was about “doing your best.” I actually live by the motto, “Always, always do your best.” I was raised that way. I remember coming home from school during report card time with some subject marks as less than I would like them to be at, and then showing my report card to my mom. She would look at it, and I would be feeling bad and disappointed in myself, thinking she would be disappointed in me as well but she wasn’t. My mom was a forward thinker, and ahead of the game in those days. Instead she asked me, “Did you do your best?” I said, “Yeah”. To which she replied, “Then that is enough.” And that was that.

So I wrote back to my well intentioned friend…who I want to point out was NOT wrong by the way, nor was he right…just missing the information necessary to see the big picture. He was right in saying that some of my posts were of lesser quality than others; they were. But it wasn’t because I didn’t care. I can assure you that everything I write here is written with 100% heart and all of me in it…and it is always, always, ALWAYS me at my best. This blog is my baby and I dedicate a LOT of time to it; often staying up until 2am or 4am writing it…even when I am tired and sick, or don’t feel like it or have writer’s block. It is tougher than you think some days, but I do it anyway. I do it because I love it, and I do it because I made a commitment. My best however will change from day to day. My best on good days will obviously surpass my best on sick days. It is only natural for it to change from day today, and moment to moment. My best today may look like less than yesterday, but if I say that I gave it my all and did my best, then I did my best. Trying to ask for more would be like trying to draw blood from a stone.

I am reminded of a brilliant quote from a very influential book I read last year by Don Miguel Ruiz. The book is called “The Four Agreements”. It is a powerful little book that changed the way I looked at things. Anyway, the quote goes like this:

“Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”

Smart man.

Before I go I just want to say thank you dear friend, for being the inspiration for tonight’s post. Sometimes you are the inspired, and sometimes the inspirer.

Day 63: From Caterpillar to Butterfly

I am finding it interesting that the more I want to change and am changing, the more people want me to stay the same. I understand that it is their fear of the unknown, and their fear of the potential loss of what currently is that has them afraid of the change…but what if the change is for the better? What if change means more love, more laughter, more fun, more compassion, more respect, more freedom, and more life? Then would you be more willing to let that person undergo their metamorphosis?

Change is one of the hardest things for people to do, it is uncomfortable and can be scary, yet is fundamentally needed to grow and expand. Change is what has us evolve. It is both a death and a rebirth; a loss and a gain. It is about surrendering and letting go to Natural Law. Even the soil upon which the seed is sown cannot stop the seed from breaking free and growing towards the sunlight. So too must I change so that I may grow closer to the sun.

Please don’t get me wrong either. I really LIKE who I am. No…I LOVE who I am. I actually have more love and respect for myself now than I ever have; however I know there is more, much more to me than I am currently being. I KNOW that I am not living my potential, and so it has become my responsibility to seek the truth about me. I also realize that by doing this, I am upsetting the balance that once was. Like a mobile atop a baby crib, each item is in delicate balance to the other…change one thing, and you change everything. Staying the same is easy, do nothing. However to me that equivocates to a long slow death when there is so much to be lived for. The world will change with or without you. Why fight Natural Law when you can work with it?

So to those who are afraid of the changes to come, I am still me…I am just undergoing “renovations”. I am only adding to what is already there. To judge the house before it is complete is like seeing the caterpillar before the butterfly.

Day 62: In Sickness and In Health

Well, my days of over-working and not enough sleeping has finally caught up with me. Like ninja stealth I feel like I have been sucker punched to the face.  Nothing a little sleep, some green tea, extra water, a little TLC…and a Dominos pizza can’t cure though. HA! Okay, the latter isn’t exactly chicken soup and doesn’t REALLY help on a health level, but I did order chicken as a topping and it sure made my “staying in on a Saturday night” feel a little less pathetic. Party in a box for one please! Is this sad? It is…isn’t it.

Our bodies are truly amazing though if you think about it. It is much smarter than we think we are, and it speaks to us if we actually pay attention and listen to it. The body, a miracle within itself, will tell you exactly what is wrong and when you are out of sync with the natural flow of life. And if you (like me) are too stubborn to listen to the cues of when it needs to slow down…it will slow things down for you. The longer you ignore the little cues, the larger and louder they become. I have this conversation with my clients all the time. Now it is time to heed my own advice.

So tonight I will listen to what my body has been screaming at me for a very long time…slow down, implement some self-care, and get some rest. And so I shall. I only have this one body and I plan on keeping it for a very long time yet, so I best take care of it…”in sickness and in health, till death do us part.”

Day 61: WANTED – A Mr. Right That Cooks

Good grief. Seriously now… I need a Mr. Right who can cook. If I owned a restaurant I would call it El Fuego and everything on the menu would be “extra crispy”, “charcoaled”, “blackened”, or “en flambé”. We can even pretend I did it on purpose like those posh places claim to do. I would be perfect there; an au natural. I can see it now….

Patron: It’s burnt.

Me: It’s not burnt, it’s blackened. It’s kind of like short pants on tall people, then calling them capris. They are supposed to be that way. It’s fashionable. Now eat it.

Mmmmmm….blackened.

*LOL*

It is true; I am that girl that burns water. Don’t believe it is possible? Ask my mom, I think it is hereditary. Not only am a master at “blackening” pretty much everything, I also managed to food poison myself this past week too. I don’t know how, but I did.

Obviously being in the kitchen is not my strong suit. Except for breakfast that is. I love breakfast. I can eat breakfast morning, noon and night. I am not just talking about cooking toast either. I can cook a mean stack of buttermilk pancakes, and no, not out of a box either. I am talking about the real deal, from scratch. See?

You can even ask my niece and nephew about my breakfast culinary skills. I have already trained them to say “Aunty makes the best pancakes!” (Apparently nodding your head while saying this phrase reinforces the idea in their wee influence-able minds. Mouhahahahaha! )

So if all else fails when snagging Mr. Right, my pancakes are my ace in the hole. Let’s just hope he likes pancakes as much as I do and that he is not wheat intolerant… or I am hooped.

Day 60: Delayed Gratification

Wow…day 60…two months done. Can you believe it? You know what I am thinking? Ten more months of no dating is a L-O-N-G time. I kind of feel like the kids in the “marshmallow temptation” psychology experiment.  Torture I tell you. If you have never seen it before you can click on the following link to view it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZikfUI0G5o&feature=related.   For your entertainment pleasure though, here is the adult “spoof” version which I thought was quite funny:

So I wonder…if I be really good and wait ten more months, do I get two as well?

HA!   ;o)

Day 59: Battery is Low

Won't be writing a long blog today...too much energy going out, and not enough coming in. So, I am going to catch some zzzz's to recharge. Sweet dreams!

Day 58: Everybody Is A Somebody

I heard one of the saddest comments today that just made my heart hurt - “I am just a nobody.”And the reason why I find it so sad is because at one point in my life, I have been there, and I completely understand what this young gentleman was and is going through at this time. Loneliness, a struggle in identity, in knowing where he belongs, in wondering what his purpose is, and where in the grand scheme of things he fits in to the big picture. Here was a man who was somebody of great stature and well recognized at one point, who temporarily fell from grace. Temporary is the key word here, as everything is changeable. And even though I wasn’t the one to say it or think it, the comment of “I am just a nobody” still felt like a knife through my chest. Why? Because whether we know it or not, we are THAT connected.

So here is something I want you to know…Everybody is a somebody.

Even you. Yes you. If you are reading this and you don’t think I am talking to you, I am ESPECIALLY talking to you. Many of us self-identify who we are and what we are worth to what we DO. Let me tell you something that might be hard to hear…what we DO does not matter, it will change. However what we do with WHO we are does matter. It’s who you are being that matters. No one remembers what you do, but they will remember how you made them feel.

Unfortunately, we usually attach our identities to what we do; something outside of ourselves, and if what we “do” fails then we consider ourselves a failure and a nobody. This simply is not true. So whether you are the grocer, the sister, the brother, the mail man, the woman in the elevator or the woman with the baby, the man in the suit or the man playing his flute on the street corner…we are all somebody to someone. Who we are matters. It is through our interactions that we become interconnected, and quite often we have no idea of the impact we leave behind with others. Perhaps we should take inventory to get a realistic view and a new perspective. Reality is relative to the lenses you look through. And if you still find yourself asking yourself, “Who am I to be a somebody?” I ask you… who are you not to be?

None of what I say here matters though. I could tell you that you matter to me (and you do whether I know you or not, because I genuinely care that much about people), but not even that matters. None of it REALLY matters, until you matter to YOU.

Day 57: …I’m BAAA-ACK!!

Yes, I am back. Some of you didn’t even know I left, did you? But I felt it. You know that feeling when you don’t quite feel like yourself? That. I feel like I have put myself back on the map though. I have taken a good long look at where I am most deficient in life and where and what I need to work on in order to move forward…and I tell ya, I am definitely moving in the right direction now. Feels good to be back in the driver’s seat!

Yesterday (Sunday) was a fantastic day of completing many projects I have been putting off for the past few months. Always felt like there wasn’t enough time in the day. Procrastination helps no one though, so I MADE time. I guess you could say I prioritized things. Checking one more thing off my list of four tasks feels like a fantastic sense of accomplishment, and probably fueled the fire to what I feel now. Yesterday I even did MORE than my originally planned four daily tasks…I was a machine. These narrowed down lists really work. With limited tasks to focus on I can actually get more done, and probably because my energy is less spent on worrying about the other 20 things. I was like one of those horses with the blinders on…intensely focused tunnel vision. You can call me the Task Master.   :o)

So where did all this shift in energy come from? Well that’s easy. I got me some sleeeeep!

WOO HOO!

It is amazing how much sleep affects pretty much everything…especially the lack thereof. I am excited to be doing a segment on sleep soon too and share with you what I have learned. This past week I have been really diligent at making sure I got at least six hours of sleep. Well some days it was six…ish.

So yesterday, I finally took a day where I could look after me and get the proper sleep (well sort of…at least better than I have been). It’s funny you know, I spend my whole week looking after everybody else and quite often forget that I must do the same for myself or the well of giving runs dry. I know a lot of people will be able to relate to that one…especially mothers and other caregivers. So I took a chill day, well sort of. If I stay in my pajamas and do office work, it kind of counts…right?  

Anyway, I stayed focused on the task at hand until I was finished. Took a lot of discipline not to wander and do something different, as the typical adult mind can only stay focused for 15 minute segments at a time, but I did it. I basically had a mind-chat with myself or a personal pep-talk if you will, as to why I am doing what I am doing and “think how great you’ll feel when you’ve actually completed it!” Starting something is the easy part, sticking to it and finishing is a bit more challenging. It’s amazing what you can achieve when you set your mind to it though. It really is a matter of setting an intention and staying committed to it.

Day 56: Go BIG or Go Home

The best way to challenge yourself and follow through on something is to tell EVERYBODY you know about what you are doing. That way there is no turning back. So today I did just that. I told EVERYBODY I know about what I am doing, not just a handful of people…and quite honestly, it is more than just a little intimidating. I am scared as hell.  That’s a LOT of people to hold myself accountable to!

But you know what? I did the exact same thing with my business.

It wasn’t until I TOLD people what I was going to create that I actually took the steps to achieve it. I mean, if no one knows, what is the incentive or motivation to do it? No one would know that you didn’t achieve your goal right? Without lip service your goal could slip silently into the night and no one would have to know its existence. Well, except for you that is. I know you know there is truth to what I am saying.

There are so many things that I have done that with over the years, but you know what…not this time. I am dead serious when I say I am looking to turn my life around, and you know what? The shifts are happening. Slowly yes, but they are happening. The changes are so small sometimes, I bet one day I am going to look back and say, “When and how did that happen?” But it is in those small incremental “doings” that create the changes. The baby steps. Each mental decision to do something different, even if that “thing” is going to bed 15 minutes earlier, or reading one more page in a book, or drinking one more glass of water per day, or doing one more small task towards your goal per day (or week). It’s something, and it all adds up. And that’s how it happens. It doesn’t happen overnight, it just looks like it does.

Let me put it this way. When you bake a pie, you don’t grab it with both hands and finish it in one big bite…you take little bites, and before you know it, it’s done. That’s how you eat a pie. That’s also how you “git er done!”

So in short, I have just amped up the volume in my life and this one year personal challenge. It is on like Donkey Kong. Full throttle ahead! I think I will give myself a new transitory name too…Phoenix Rising.

Hmm… yes, I like that.  What do you think?

Oh…and before I go, do you want to help me amp up the challenge even more? You can help me by telling more people about my blog and what I am doing. The more eyes, the more intimidating and scary it gets…and ironically, the more power behind the action to “Just do it”. In essence, you are helping me accomplish and live out my full potential. Perhaps I can even make it to The Ellen Show someday. Never know unless you put it out there right?

Spread the word mockingbird!

Day 55: Twitterpated

Spring has sprung, the sun has now come out to play (well kind of), the cherry blossoms are in bloom, and by golly…I think love is in the air too! Not for me though… not yet.  In any case I would like to dedicate one of my favorite Disney clips to all of you Spring “Twitterpated” people out there. Enjoy!

Friend Owl: Yes, it could even happen to you!
Thumper: Well, it's not gonna happen to me.
Bambi: Me neither.
Flower: Me neither.

Nicole: Me neither. (LOL)

Day 54: I Think I May Be Part Narcolep…Zzzzzzzzzzzz

Just so you know, I really appreciate all the feedback I have been getting from writing this blog, I really do. I am hoping to go through all the emails and comments, post and respond to them by the end of the weekend…so know that you have not been forgotten, my life is just that crazy right now. So crazy in fact that while writing last night’s post I was micro-sleeping again…and didn’t even realize it. It is as though I am turning narcoleptic. That’s not a…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… good thing. I am just grateful that it made sense when I looked at it this morning; enough sense that I got some great feedback from it. Apparently it is not just a cliché; I CAN do it in my sleep! Even so, me thinks I need to start writing earlier before I write something nonsensical…lol.

With that said, I need to keep tonight’s post short as I have mountains of paperwork to do before I hit the hay. But don’t worry, I have been sticking to getting at least 6 hours of sleep per night. Well, mostly.  Still not nearly enough to function at full capacity, but I AM getting better. Baby steps.

Day 53: Today’s Forecast – It’s Gonna Be A Bright, Bright Sunshiny Day!

I found myself sitting with a friend in a McDonald’s restaurant two days ago, which is not my typical joint to hang in by the way,  but it was late, it was open, and I was hungry. We got to talking about life, where we were at, our struggles, our victories, and what is currently going on for us in our lives right now. It was in the heat of this conversation of “unloading” that the most appropriate song came on over the PA system that stopped me mid conversation and captivated my attention for the next three and a half minutes – Jimmy Cliff’s “I Can See Clearly Now”.  Have a listen.

Music has always been a big part of my life; amplifying my moods. This song in particular, I find, is a classic and is truly one of the most beautifully inspiring songs I have ever heard. It makes me smile from the inside out and reminds me that everything will be ok in the end. If it is not ok, it is not the end.

Day 52: Rome Wasn’t Built In A Day

You know, I am one of the lucky few that have a career that they love. I get to do what I enjoy every single day AND add value to others while doing it. I am very fortunate and I know it. I give thanks and gratitude every single day that I am at the office, with every person I meet and every time I lock up at night. I do not take one moment of it for granted…ever. Some would say that I am lucky, but I do not necessarily believe in luck. In the words of Oprah, “Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity.” In my world, that meant I believed in myself enough to MAKE it happen…I didn’t wait for chance and I didn’t get handed anything either…I seized opportunities. The magic is in DECIDING what it is you want then taking the necessary ACTION to get it…and do not stop until you get there. That’s it.

Let me tell you something though, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was fulfilling my dream either. It is so easy to judge another for what they have and overlook the unseen. A lot of people I know think I became an overnight success story. That simply is not true. What most do not know is how much time, energy, blood, sweat and tears that went in it. A lot. A lot more than normal. It actually took me two years from the birth of an idea until now to be where I am at…and I am merely just getting started.

So if you ever find yourself comparing yourself to others and what they have, consider this: You have no idea of the foundation that was laid beforehand and what it took to get there. If you did know, you’d probably tell them to keep it. Our paths are all different, yet lead to the same peak. We will arrive when we are meant to arrive. So when it comes to your own successes, judge yourself less, and love yourself more. Kindness will get you farther.

Day 51: Warning – I Am Not Responsible For Your Laughter!

I am not sure if you remember or not, but I had mentioned in some earlier posts that I now go to physiotherapy once a week due to a high impact, high intensity training incident that left me pretty incapacitated and in a lot of pain for the past two months. Needless to say I will never return to that trainer.

Anywho, I thought it might be entertaining for you to see what I go through once per week. LAST week was the best session EVER, as I screamed like a school girl which had both me and my physiotherapist laughing pretty hard - so hard I had tears. I wish I would have taped it. This week was MUCH tamer, but still pretty funny. I had to break the video into two parts, so the first is more of an intro. I personally think the second one is funnier. Be sure to watch until the end when I am lying face down…it is the best part. You can actually hear the guy and his physiotherapist in the room next to ours laughing at me too.

Did you enjoy that? Apparently the guy next door sure did. We both were at the pay counter at the same time and he asked me if that was me next door. I said, “Yup”. He laughed. He said, “I couldn’t even focus on MY pain anymore because I was too busy laughing at you!”

See, who needs TV when you have me for your entertainment, eh? What I am really curious about though, is if the guy next door booked for the SAME TIME next time. HA!

And just so you know, that plastic thingy really IS pokey and sharp. LOL

Day 50: Warning - View Discretion Is Advised

Day 50 already. In human years, I’d be over the hill; in blogging time though I am just getting started.

I actually have a lot to say today, but don’t have the time to say it, as I have to be up in…oh… 3.5 hours. So I am just going to leave you with a little funny anecdote instead. Enjoy!

Apparently my readers are about as twisted as I am…which I think is F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C. One of my Twitter followers upon discovering my blog on “Attracting Mr. Right” decided to send me a gag gift. I personally thought it was hilarious, and well…fitting. So here is what he left me by my studio last week after hours:

Yes, he gave me a pair of “HAND JOB - Better than Nothin’” work gloves. HA! Whoever came up with those was a marketing genius. But anyway I digress, as that is only half of the funny scenario.

Apparently SOMEONE ELSE also liked the Hand Job gloves because by the time I went to get them from where they were left for me…beside the men’s washroom of all places, they were gone. So I put up a “missing” sign in the kitchen at work. Imagine… a yellow Post-it note with “Has anyone seen my Hand Job gloves?” scribbled on it stuck to the cupboard doors. I am sure I was the laughing stock of the office, but hey, I really wanted the gloves back!

And guess what. They reappeared. I walked into my office one day and there they were neatly left for me on my massage table. It was at this point that I burst out laughing. Why? Because I wonder what was going on in the person’s head when they walked into my studio and realized who it was for. I SWEAR to you, it is not that kind of studio, and I am not that kind of gal. I have a private massage studio, not a privates massage studio. Oh, the importance of one wee little letter!

Wait, there is more. The name of the guy who gifted me the gloves is John…and a Freudian slip about to happen. Thought about sending a letter thanking him for the funny gift, but somehow “Dear John, thank you for the Hand Job” just doesn’t sound so good.

I tell you, that night it made me giggle in my sleep for hours. LOL!

Day 49: A Nicole Martini…Hold The Olives

I am not sure what you call it…God, Universe, Creator, All That Is, He, She, It… whatever it is… IT sure has a sense of humor. And right now, I am feeling a bit like a martini…shaken AND stirred.

So here I am, almost two months into my one year life transformation process, and some days I wonder what the heck I have gotten myself into. I mean, what person in their right mind would actually ASK for their world to be turned inside out and upside down when everything appeared to be ok? (“Appeared” being a very key point by the way). Sounds crazy doesn’t it?

Well, I asked for the fast-track to spiritual and personal growth and I sure am getting it. It feels chaotic and the sudden big changes are a little bit crazy-making at times. And although I may look calm, cool and collected on the outside most days, I am feeling a little crazy on the inside. HA!

There is no doubt that I am definitely in the heat of the fire right now; like steel being tempered into a mighty sword. Even the sword needs time in the fire and receives many blows from the hammer before it is fit to be called “mighty”.

Hmmm...well how about that! I actually just found another blog from a well known author that relates to this point exactly. His name is Paulo Coelho, and you can check out his blog here:  Paulo Coelho's Blog. I guess great minds think alike!

Times are a changing, and although I may not see the BIG picture, I do know that there is one…and I have to trust that even in such uncertainty that the “how” will work itself out.

Day 48: My Shortest Post

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I am feeling a bit narcoleptic at the moment, and I am finding myself doing micro-sleeps (will tell you more about that later). So I figure that now would be a good time to hop into my bed and get some much needed zzzzzz’s. I promise to write more tomorrow.

Goodnight!

Day 47: Financial Matters

Well dear friends, I am in the midst of a very BIG transition right now which has plagued me for oh…all my life. I am talking about finances. I had mentioned at the beginning of my blogging that I would be tackling this subject as well, though I figured I would be doing that later on in the year. However, some things have come up that have me looking at it right NOW. So I am.

Truth be told, finances freak me out. Why? Because I know so little about it. I was never taught how to manage them through school or home, and have been feeling a bit like a fish out of water. I don’t blame my parents because I doubt they were ever taught either. And the school system…well I think I already expressed my opinions on that – it badly needs to be revamped and teach us some life skills we can actually use. Conflict resolution, financial planning, emotional intelligence, and effective communication skills would be a start. But that’s a whole other topic, and whole other blog.

So here I am with not really a hot clue of what I am doing in the financial department, other than I make it and I spend it…and I haven’t a hot clue where it goes. I do know that what I have been doing has not been working well for me though, and now is the time to do something about it. So I am seeking out people to help me get educated, get informed, and turn some things around. Ignorance is not bliss.

So first things first, I need to find someone who can teach me how to budget and track income and expenses properly on some sort of sheet that is easy enough a monkey could do it. At least I think that’s the first step, I am not really sure. If you have a better idea or know of someone that could help I am surely open to hearing it!