Day 107: I Am Taking A Manbatical

A manbatical? What does that even mean? Well, it means no relationship with a man for a WHOLE year or however long you decide to do it for. I figured I would go for broke though, and chose to do it for one full year, UNLESS I get my goals done early. Crazy, I know.  That means no dating, no kissing, no sex, no physical anything…well, except for hugs. Hugs are ok.

If you think it is easy, think again. It was designed to keep me focused on my goals and what I want to accomplish so that I can get to where I want to go without the daily distractions. But holy smokes it is tough! Worse when you like someone and every day you’re thinking…should I or shouldn’t I? My sneaky me, the one that likes to find loopholes in things, is coming out a lot stronger. I am going to have to up my game if I am going to survive this thing. Discipline Nicole, discipline!

A friend of mine, knowing my situation, came across a funny video clip today of a female comedian who is doing something much like myself. She too is on a “manbatical” otherwise known as a man diet. NO MAN FOR YOU! Suddenly I feel like I am on an episode of Seinfeld. You know, the Soup Nazi one…”NO SOUP FOR YOU- ONE YEAR!”

Finally there is SOMEONE out there who understands the torture. HA! If you haven’t seen the “Manbatical” clip before, I have attached it below. Enjoy!

Day 106: What Happens In Whistler Stays In Whistler!

I am still without internet, so I am going to attempt this blog by iPhone tonight. Here it goes.

Much like Vegas, what happens in Whistler stays in Whistler...until I blog about it I guess. HA!
This weekend I joined my fellow BNI group, a network of business professionals and entrepreneurs, for a teambuilding extravaganza. It was FANTASTICALLY FUN! Not only was it my first time ever to Whistler, but also... who knew that a "business" meeting could be so awesome! THIS is the way business should be done - getting to know each other beyond our business suits and REALLY get to know the REAL person. People that work together and play together...stay together.
"Play" in the workplace is typically thought of as childish, inappropriate and immature but it is quite the opposite. "Play" is absolutely necessary. It is the glue that binds; it bonds people together, and it digs deeper than the professional face we put on. Play brings out our authentic selves, and it is from this place of authenticity and realness that others can relate and bond to. Magic tends to happen when we let our guards down and let others in.
...and I don't just mean in the business realm either. ;o)
And for the curious...I behaved. Mostly. ;)

Day 105: Internet Down

Lots of new changes happening here...starting with new roommates coming this Tuesday. Unfortunately that also means I will be without Internet for a few days. I will do my best to get my postings posted...but bare with me, I have to write them all on this tiny iPhone.

Day 104: Away

Day 104: Away

I am away on a business trip this weekend learning about networking through my BNI (Business Networking International) group. I will have to tell you all about it when I return on Sunday. What is even more exciting is that I will be in Whistler, which believe it or not, will be my first time there…EVER. I am sooo excited!

Have a great weekend folks! See you on the flipside.  ;o)

Day 103: Are Cuddles OK?

My commitment to “being single for a year” has afforded me quite the entertaining comments over the past three months. I usually get a wide variety of responses from the “Wow, that’s inspiring” look, the “Are you crazy?” look, the “Oh…really? Darn.” look, to this one:

I love that scene.

So I get asked questions regarding my blog a lot. One of the top two questions I get asked the most is, “So is this challenge based on the advice of your therapist or a 12-step program?”

HAHA! No. Why is it so hard to fathom a woman in her early 30’s wanting to spend her focus and energy on herself for awhile to better herself? I know I am one of the rare few who are not in a rush to the altar or even be in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean I need therapy! Too funny.

The second most asked and funniest comments though, are those who try to compromise with me…the hopefuls trying to change my mind. “So is a cuddle okay?” they ask.

Well, that’s slightly more than a coffee now isn’t it!  ;o)

Although I am not opposed to the idea of a cuddle-buddy, I don’t think it is a good idea. It would be fine if a cuddle STAYED that way. You know, like an extended hug, but we both know that a “cuddle” rarely ever stays a cuddle. So I guess I have to say nope, not even a cuddle. But nice try. If you think about it though, I am doing YOU a favor. This way is much less torturous.

You think this is hard on you? Try being in my shoes…I’ve been looking for Mr. Right since I was six. As I told my friend today, I feel like that six year old standing at the kitchen counter looking at the clear jar of cookies and being told to wait until after supper…except I’m 30 and “supper” is more than a few hours from now. Try 262 days. But really, who's counting?

Dude, let me tell you…I am HUUUN-GRY. Gosh those cookies are looking mighty F-I-N-E right now, and we both know I am not really talking about cookies either. LOL!

Day 102: Get Your Game Face On

Sometimes life likes to play hardball, or at least it feels that way, and when it plays dirty and throws me a curve ball I say back, “I’ve got my eye on you. You haven’t got me yet.” So when he taunts me with a “Saaa-wing batter batter batter….Saaa-wing!”, I smile because you can bet that I am going to hit that ball right out of the park so far he won’t know what happened. Taunt ME? You must not know who you are dealing with. I am watching you life, and the moment you let your guard down I’m coming in with a gale force wind. You wanna play hardball? I say game on…bring it. I’m coming for you.

So here I am, I’ve got my game face on and I am tackling one of the biggest obstacles I have ever encountered…finances. It feels like it has haunted me my whole life. Some days are more intense than others, and it scares me that I have let it run me for so long. To tell you the truth, I have had enough. I guess that marks the fork in the road for change to take place too. I don’t have a clear cut answer for anything or how to accomplish my goal of “getting out”, and most days I feel like a lumberjack just swinging away, hacking at whatever stands in my way. Lately though, I have been getting uber laser focused and have started tackling my books. Must start somewhere!  I finally sat down yesterday on my room floor and just laid it all out in front of me and just plugged away at it like it was nobody’s business, and I was surprised that after only a few hours I was nearly half done my task. Why I have waited months to do this, God only knows. But it seems the more I get it done, the less stress and anxiety I feel around it. My lesson of the month…just do it!

Persistent action + patience + dedicated focus = JOB DONE! J

Day 101: Putting The Pedal To The Metal

In the business world it is tax time, and with the deadline fast approaching I am definitely feeling a sense of urgency. So when I had a client forget about their appointment today, I seized the opportunity to get things done. “Everything happens for a reason” they say, and whoever “they” are I think they are right.

Grateful for the opportunity to get a lot done today, I am left wondering…why don’t I do EVERYTHING with the same sense of urgency? Doing so would save a whole lot of time and energy. And perhaps that’s my lesson. What has dragged on for months, I have magically found the time for, or at least MADE the time for it. I think the fear of repercussions from non-completion is my motivating factor. I hate getting in trouble.

Sacrifices are inevitable, and this time it is again stolen sleep. I am amazed at my ability to function on so little though, but I definitely do not want to be doing it long-term. I already feel the effects on my body. I am not exactly as young as I used to be.

I am not out of the woods yet either. I have some major projects coming up…but so far things are coming together much better, and I am looking forward to life made better by organization. Once this mountain of paperwork goes away I will be implementing a system to make things work as smooth as possible and like clockwork. I am all about optimizing my time and reclaiming it back.

Till next time…have a fantastical day! And remember, the best time to do it, is do it NOW.

Day 100: For The Love of Hockey

If there is one thing I love, it is hockey. I may not know the rules, or the calls, or what’s what, but I still love it. As a rural Manitoban it would only seem natural and fitting that I would too. As a farm girl our ponds and dugouts turned into skating rinks, and hockey was the game of choice. Even when summer came and the snow melted there was always air hockey, street hockey…or basement hockey. It is part of my DNA. It is a sport that requires team spirit and camaraderie, and when you watch your team play live…a sense of loyalty and belonging to something bigger than yourself. Hockey, at least in small towns, has always been a sport that brought people together. And now that I have moved on from small town to the big city, the rules haven’t changed either… only the size of the crowd.

Now, I must be honest here, and please don’t hurt me for it…I haven’t always been a Canucks fan. Blasphemous I know! Actually, until four days ago I have NEVER even seen an NHL game before – not on TV nor live. So in all fairness, I just wasn’t familiar with them.

Are you still reading? LOL

I figure though, that if I am going to live and stay in this city, then I might want to join in the community and be a part of it. If I want to belong, then belong to something. The desire for belonging and community has sparked some interest in wanting to join a sports team actually, but for now due to time constraints I figured I would just jump on the Canuck bandwagon instead. Finally…it’s about time! Over three years I have been here already, I think I am a little overdue.

Tonight is a pretty fantastical special kind of day in Vancouver hockey history though. For the first time in 17 years, the Canucks just clinched the final goal in a double overtime against the San Jose Sharks and made it into the Stanley Cup Finals. This hasn’t happened since 1994 when I was 14 years old. And what makes this day even more remarkable is that back in 1994 the date was May 24^th. What day is today? May 24^th. History repeats itself yet again.

The energy in downtown Vancouver is unreal tonight too. The city has come alive, much like it did when we won the Olympic gold medal for the men’s hockey last year. Here, have a listen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFYvJill7yw

That was taken just before the BIG crowd came in. NOW the sound is deafening even with all the windows closed, and like most Canuck win nights, will probably be this way until at least two or three in the morning. I don’t mind too much though. It is good to see a city I usually perceive as kind of cold come together as one and celebrate together, even if it is for one night.

So for all you fellow Vancouver Canucks fans out there, this one is for you...

GO CANUCKS GO!!

By the way, how cool is it that I made it to Day 100 eh? Even I am impressed! Not too shabby if I do say so myself.

Day 99: Rules…Are Meant To Be Bent

I got to thinking over the last few days, what happens if I complete what I set out to do BEFORE my one year was up? Do I still stay single for the year just to say that I did it? Would there be any point? I am thinking, no. I think if I accomplish what I set out to do before my due date, I should be scot-free…right? What do you think? Are rules meant to be bent? How about in this case?

Ok, so if I were COMPLETELY 100% honest, it wasn’t the accomplishing goals that I was thinking about…it was the dating. Do you have any idea how hard this is right now? It feels like the world is made out of chocolate and I can’t eat it, not even nibble. All I can do is smell the paper it’s wrapped in. Like the Doritos Dude. Not sure what I am talking about? Take a peek at this video.

It is torture I tell you! The chocolate (or Doritos) lovers out there would understand. My shifty eyes go to the left…then to the right…thinking, will anyone even notice?

I would.

That’s what keeps me in line. I am too fricken honest and my integrity means far more…but gosh darn it I want to get to the finish line soon!

Two hundred and sixty-eight more days, that’s how long I have to wait…268. I don’t know if I am going to make it. I am a woman in my “prime” and it is becoming apparent to me that staying focused is not always my forte; too many shiny paperclips. Ooooo…paperclip! (FYI…“ paperclip” is an inside joke and saying I have for when I get distracted. It is the fascination I have for bright shiny objects. I swear it is not because I am blonde, it is because I am curious). So there.

Anyway, this whole “stay single” challenge I have got going on got me thinking, “How can I best use it to my advantage?” Well, why not use it as an incentive! I know from experience that depending what’s hanging on the line will also depend on how fast I can move mountains. And at the rate I am going, my eyeballs are getting bigger than my stomach. Word to the wise, never get in the way of a hungry woman! That’s like keeping pickles and ice cream away from a pregnant woman…I bet she’ll fight you for it.

Really though, think about it. If I really want to get spring “twitterpated”, then maybe, just maybe that will light the fire under my butt to get motivated and move a little faster; accomplish my goals a little sooner, and get back in the dating game. I am dangling my own carrot here, and I find it rather humorous. Hey, whatever works, right!

Trust me, this little “bend in the rules” is for my own good. You don’t want me to end up like the woman in this video do you?

Takes on a whole other meaning to “becoming one with nature” eh? Two-hundred and sixty-eight days? God help me…or I too might be out saving our rainforest. LOL!

Day 98: Hey Mr. DJ, Put A Record On…

I went out last night for the first time since I don’t even remember when. Not too keen on the “fresh meat” feel, but I haven’t been out with my girlfriends in a while and I really miss dancing. I used to be nicknamed the “Dancing Queen” because the dance floor would be the one place guaranteed you’d find me. I tend to get in the zone and go into my own little world where nothing else seems to matter but moving and music.

I had a bit of an eye-opener last night though when I was waiting in line for the loo. In a friendly conversation with some guy, after his discovering it was my first time there, he asked me where else do I frequent to which I replied, “Uh…I don’t. I either work…or work.” And as soon as the words rolled off my tongue I thought to myself, “God that’s lame.” Since when did I lose track of making time for fun? What kind of life is it when all you make time for is work or more work…no matter how much you love it? Not very balanced if I do say so myself.

So for the first time in a very long time (probably a year or more) I let go, put three sheets to the wind and never looked back. I smiled, I laughed, I got silly, I told funny stories, I danced, I met new people, and I had one heck of a fantastic time. I felt alive like the good ‘ole days when I was footloose, fancy free and quite the social butterfly. God it felt good.

Music and dancing definitely put life back in my life, so I told myself that I need to start doing this more often. Once a month, once every two months… I don’t care, just more often. And this place we went to called The Greedy Pig in Gastown, downtown Vancouver is the perfect place to go and let go. Quaint, comfortable, age-appropriate, and fantastic DJ’s that will get your feet moving. If you haven’t been yet be sure to check it out – third Saturday of the month is best. If you see me there, don’t be a stranger and be sure to say hello.  ;o)

See you on the dance floor!

Day 97: Break Time!

I need a break. If there is one thing I know about me, it is that when I am overtired and maxed out it is best not to write. The coherency of my blog is directly proportionate to the time of night, so since it is actually 3:50am, I am going to take a body cue and hit the hay. I mean, it is better that I take care of myself first rather than pound out a great article…there is always tomorrow. Besides what good am I if I can’t concentrate?

Good night all! J

Day 96: Brazilian Please…Oh For The Love of God I Wish I Meant A Man!

A wise man once said, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

When it comes to waxing whoever said waxing doesn’t hurt is a LIAR.  And whoever says it hurts less the second time…is a DOUBLE LIAR.

The first time I got waxed was a couple of weeks ago; well technically it was the second time, because the first time I had my friend wax my legs in the middle of the kitchen floor when I was ten years younger…and she removed both hair and skin. And as I lie there in the middle of floor twitching in pain and bleeding I said to myself, “NEVER AGAIN!” I am surprised I didn’t end up in a white jacket sitting in a corner somewhere rocking myself to show tunes. But no, the wounds healed and all that’s left is a terrifying memory. Which begs the question…why would I try it again?

Good question. I’m crazy maybe? Or perhaps I have a memory like a goldfish…so short I forgot I just swam that lap. Which would explain how I earned the nickname Dory at one point. (If you haven’t watched “Finding Nemo” go watch it, you’ll catch my drift).

So the first (but really second) time I went to get waxed I unfortunately forgot to press record on my video camera. The session was a complete gong-show though, so I went for round two and did it again today just so that you can enjoy the hilarity of my adventures. After all, isn’t humor best when it is shared amongst friends? Oh the things I do for you and this blog! The wax lady told me last time that it wouldn’t hurt so much the next time I came in, so I naively believed her and re-booked. Oh boy was I misled! Here’s a short sound clip of my experience today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omqdYsEjN3c .

Even still, no one does waxing better than Steve Carell, who summed up my experience quite nicely with his tribute to waxing in his movie “40 Year Old Virgin”. Funny movie if you haven’t seen it. Here’s a clip from my favorite scene. Yep, you guessed it…the waxing scene.

LANGUAGE WARNING!

Perhaps next time I should go for laser. What do you think?

Day 95: Self-Acceptance…I Was Born This Way Baby!

Today was a fantastic day. There is something about sunshine that brings out the best in people, and today was my day.  

I walked out in the world like I owned it, and it showed. For those of you who don’t know me, I am a tall drink of water…and when you strap on 3” heels to that, it is very hard to ignore me. I embraced my tallness today though. I walked out with my head held high, a smile on my face, and a posture that reflected confidence. Not because I faked it either, I actually felt it. I think it might be possible that I have finally stepped into my own and fully accepted who I am…and boy does it ever feel good. WOO HOO!

I certainly haven’t always been this way though; not at all. I was quite the opposite actually - very self-conscious and insecure. I used to get picked on a lot when I was younger…for being too tall, too skinny, too this and not enough that. And for most of my life (20 of my 30 years) I have always wanted to be something other than what I am. Believe it or not, I actually used to wish that I was shorter and fatter, and wanted to have surgeries for various things to “fix” the “imperfections”. I am not even kidding when I say that I used to slouch or lean against things to make myself look shorter and I even used to look into the side of cars and see my distorted reflection looking back at me and I would wonder, “Why can’t I be like that?” Crazy I know, but true nonetheless.

But not anymore. It has taken me quite some time to get comfortable in my own skin, disregard anything negative anyone has ever told me, and discover the truth about myself. And you know what? I am happy to say that I now see the beauty in the person that stares back at me every day. I have learned to accept all of it, and love it just the same…tallness and all. So when I say I wore heels today, I did so with grace and grandeur. For the first time I was ok with being noticed and seen as I am, and with that I walked a little taller, and I walked a little straighter.

I tell you, there is a different kind of energy that emanates from a woman who is confident and comfortable with herself. And I swear that I have never got so many looks, comments and whiplash neck jerks as I did today.

Something worth looking into if you are looking to attract that elusive Mr./Ms. Right.

Enjoy the video!

Day 94: Getting Out Of The Rat Race

I haven’t done one of those crazy work-till-you-drop days since I used to work on the cruise ships. That is probably where I started the bad habit of sleeplessness and working too much. It seemed to be a requirement there. I even remember staying up for 36 hours working onboard once. It was insane and I got REALLY sick from it. There is no question that the lack of sleep certainly wrecks havoc on one’s body. I don’t miss it. I guess as long as I am learning from the mistakes they are worth making.

Someday down the road I will look back on all this and either laugh at it or think…”What the heck was I thinking?” Perhaps even both. I will probably be much smarter and wiser by then from all my learned mistakes, at least I hope I would be. And if I don’t learn and keep slamming my fingers in the door, then it’s my own fault. Eventually something has got to give, my nervous system will kick in, and my reaction will be “Ouch, that hurt!”

I do feel like I have entered the rat race a bit though. I find myself struggling to balance the striving ahead to make something for myself and the slowing down to enjoy the life I have that seems to be whizzing by me. I seem to be living life backwards; I am scheduling free time into a work day, rather than work time into a free day. I know why I am doing it right now though, and I guess that is what keeps me at it. I am working towards setting myself free of the seeming mess I have got myself in called debt.

I never used to be in it. Up until the age of 28, I always used to prepay my cards and everything so that I would never owe interest EVER, and I didn’t. I never spent anything I didn’t have. Then I went to college, and along with my education came huge debt, stress, and now trying to climb out. And to add to the pain, I started my own business…and doubled the debt. Ouch! With all the added stress and financial stuff though, it makes me pay attention and take a look at everything and not just understand money more but gain a respect for it. It has been a huge learning curve, and I am still in it.

So for the first time in my life I have to look at budgeting and financial management, and when I look at it I have this deer in the headlights look like someone is speaking to me in Punjabi. I haven’t a hot clue. All I hear is sound and lips moving.

So what does someone do when learning a new language? Get Rosetta Stone. Unfortunately I am not learning Italian or French yet though; instead I am surrounding myself with professional people who know more than I do to set me on the right track again. So for the next couple of months I will be spending my time on getting the finances back on track. I am actually looking forward to it too, because for the first time I feel like I am in the driver’s seat and not along for the ride.

I smell freedom, do you?

Day 93: You Know You Work Too Much When…

I just realized that I have been awake and in work mode for nearly 21 hours straight now. YEESH! I definitely don’t recommend doing that…it’s not healthy. So since I am feeling a bit fried at the moment and my body is naturally shutting down for the day, please pardon me while I hit the hay. Good night all…I promise to write more tomorrow when my eye lids aren’t being held up by toothpicks.

Day 92: Fetishes & News of the Weird

Ok, is it just me, or is this world getting more weird by the moment?

I have a knack for attracting the weird. I am not sure why, but they gravitate to me like flies to honey. Most of the time they provide me with entertainment value and others just make me wonder…WTF?

Lately, for one reason or another, I seem to be attracting fetish people…foot fetish people in particular.  I am not sure why either, as I have the same number of toes as anyone else. Five. You have five right? Just making sure. And there is nothing really unique about them either. They don’t have special talents like writing, painting, singing the national anthem, or playing an instrument. They don’t wear a cape and save lives. They are just toes.

But for some, apparently not.

Take Dude #1 for example, who asked on our first date (last year) if he could trade me a sushi dinner for pictures of my feet, so that he could post them on his porn site. Yeah, he actually asked. Is this normal dating etiquette now? Have the rules of engagement changed? I thought he was just joking around too until he pulled out his camera to show me all the pictures of other girls feet as a way to convince me that it would be okay. Hmmm…don’t I feel special. LOL!

Two thoughts went through my brain:

#1: You are insane and creepy.

#2: If anyone is going to make money off of my feet, it would be me.

Then there is Dude #2. I recently met up with someone for coffee (not a date) and had a good chat about a whole lot of things. Seemed like a really nice fellow…until I started getting weird texts about, you guessed it, my feet.

Seriously.

Now I am not saying that that I don’t have any fetishes of my own. I do. But mine are relatively normal and I don’t go around asking people for pictures of their body parts either. Even writing that sounds creepy. I don’t know about you, but I feel a little grossed out at the thought of someone getting jiggy while looking at my toes. Somehow I feel violated and dirty. I think my toes need therapy and a good scrub.

Now if you want to massage my feet, that’s a different story. PLEASE DO! I won’t argue with you. I will even wash them first so you don’t pass out. How’s that for consideration eh?

See, don’t ever say I don’t think of you. HA!

You know, come to think of it, perhaps feet aren't so bad. At least they didn't ask to lick my eyeballs. Yeah...that ACTUALLY happened.

Day 91: CONTEST! Wanna Play A Game?

Ok, so I am feeling a little playful today. Perhaps it was the fantastic sleep I had last night, I am not sure. I just know that I woke up feeling very mischievous and playful, and goofy…and wanting to play jokes on people. HAHA!  I feel a sense of my old me returning…the good parts I thought I lost.

So in the spirit of fun and silliness, and all things lighthearted, I would like to invite you to play a game with me. I have been in this city (Vancouver) for almost three and a half years now, and STILL don’t know a whole lot of people…so I would like to take this opportunity to change that.

Let me just say, I love people. I used to be quite the social butterfly once upon a time, before I had a life changing moment years ago with an abusive/controlling boyfriend…after which I kind of shut down and have never really been the same since. Soooo, in my desire to connect with you, my audience/followers, and in getting to know people more, I propose that we play a little game taken from one of my favorite books called “Where’s Waldo?” Except it will be “Where’s Nicole?” and I won’t be wearing a red toque or a red and white striped shirt.

OK…so how does it work?

Easy. For the next two months, if you spot me on the street, grocery store, shop, etc… don’t be shy say “hi”, take a picture with me and post it to Twitter (@NicoleVanDamme). Let’s see if Vancouverites are friendlier than my home province “Friendly Manitoba”.  If I have enough people participate, I’ll probably post it here on my blog too as part of my social experiment…so you can be famous too! LOL  ;o)

What’s in it for you? Even better. How about a chance to win a free DAMME good massage AND a $40 massage gift certificate for being so gutsy?

Not too shabby eh?

Day 90: Gettin’ Er Done!

Office and paperwork has never been my strong suit. It makes me flustered to no end, which is probably why I stepped away from the office-type jobs I have been doing for the past 13 years. I CAN do it, but I would rather not. Organizing is not my natural talent and takes considerably more effort than I would like; it’s like putting a round peg in a square hole, it fits, but there are better options.

I am not exactly in the financial position to hire someone to organize me right now though, so I am tackling the task and doing it myself. Just like everything else. It makes for a better learning ground that way anyway. Heck, I even self-taught myself how to do web design so I could do my own website! Yeah, I’m a keener…or crazy. You pick.

So it is Day 90 already eh? Three months gone; one quarter of my challenge completed. Boy how time flies! The first three months were a bit of a flop. Or were they? I was floundering around, constantly trying new things and ideas, and continually failing…yet learning. So in my books, as long as I am learning, it is all is good. And since it is review time, here is what I have learned thus far.

In my quest for change I discovered that trying to make BIG changes too fast doesn’t work; change requires patience and time, so I switched to little, incremental changes instead. So far, so good.

I also learned that change isn’t linear. What I mean by that is, when I focused on trying to change one thing at a time and make it perfect I would end up flopping. HOWEVER, when I work on each of the different things I want to change, and do one little thing consistently, then I find that the change is happening much more quickly. Change doesn’t require perfection. So instead of focusing on JUST food or exercise, or sleep, or finances and waiting until they are PERFECT before I move on to the next issue, I am improving all of them at the same time in very miniscule, barely noticeable ways…and also very effectively I might add! So far I have re-discovered the joy of cooking and cooking healthily, I am getting more sleep than before, AND I am working at fixing my finances…which is really at the root of everything. My gut feeling tells me that once I have the finances aligned, all the rest will follow suit too.

Let’s hope so!

Day 89: We've Tainted Grandma

I watched the movie “Bridesmaids” today with a girlfriend. If you haven’t seen it yet, GO! It was start to finish HIL-AR-I-OUS. Even the sweet little old grandma beside me was busting a gut; which honestly weirded me out a bit because when I think of “grandma” I think of sweet innocence, knitting needles, and baking cookies…not watching sex on the silver screen. I found myself wanting to cover HER eyes. Not exactly a show I would watch with MY grandma. If she did I am sure she’d have a heart attack. The movie wasn’t exactly as innocent as the “Littlest Hobo” you know.

(Side note: Yeah, I used to watch that show with my grandparents back in the day when TV’s were still black and white and all we had were three fuzzy channels and bunny ears to tune it. Does anyone remember that anymore? Geez, I think I just dated myself again. Am I older than I think I am?)

Anyway, back to the movie.

So the movie got me thinking…when it comes to attracting Mr. Right, perhaps riding transit isn’t helping my case any. Perhaps I should get a car. Yeah, that might work! You know, so that I too can get pulled over by a cute and caring but quirky/goofy cop with a sexy accent who brings me tea in bed the next morning, then goes out of his way to support me and encourage my dreams. Yeah, I like the sound of that. That’s not asking for much, is it?

Not that I am a big tea drinker or anything either, but if he’s bringing it I think I will learn to like it. LOL!

Whaaaat!?!  It could happen!

Day 88: Blogger Down :-(

Mayday! Mayday!

*radio static*

Blogger down! Blogger Down!...*static*...Please send reinforcements!

Unfortunately my Blogger was down last night for maintenance or something. Fortunately for me though, I took that as a cue that it was time for me to hit the hay and enjoy the crisp new white bed sheets that just arrived in the mail. YAY! Feels like Christmas. Who knew that bed sheets would be so exciting!

Must be a sign that I am getting old. LOL!

Day 87: Planning For Tomorrow Today

You know, I am really enjoying this journey I am on. After a pretty rough couple of months, things around here are finally shifting and starting to fall into place in a really good way. I am still not out of the clear, but at least I feel like I can breathe again. And consequently, the more things are falling into place, the more my living space seems to magically de-clutter itself. One seems to be a direct reflection of the other.

The process of bringing order to chaos has been painstakingly slow, but at least I can say that I am finally getting things under control. I am nowhere near seeing the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but at least it is not so dark anymore. I am reminded of a fridge magnet that I once had “The only way out is through”. And it is true; day by day it IS getting brighter.

So what is it that I am doing differently? I am taking the time to plan…and I follow through on it. I am doing what author Frank Bettger of “How I Raised Myself from Failure to Success in Selling” calls self-organization, except that he does it once a week and I do it every night. Every evening before I go to bed I make a new list of priorities of all the things I need to do for the following day, then I go over it like a plan of attack, and visualize getting it done. Apparently whatever you think of before you go to bed retains in your brain better, which would explain how I did so well on tests when I was younger when I only studied the night before. Either way, it seems to be working quite well. And since I am still in “damage control mode” I am only attending to things of immediacy first so that I don’t slip into the downward spiral of anxiety. That also means a lot of other important things don’t get done, but I have learned to be okay with that…there is only so much that I can get done in a day. No need for fretting about it either, as fretting only creates more stress and wastes precious energy that could be spent taking action somewhere else. If something doesn’t get done today, there is always tomorrow. Sometimes you just need to let go and trust that all will be ok in the end. If it is not ok, it is not the end.

So it is time now to work smarter not harder. As Frank Bettger writes, “It is surprising how much I can get done when I take enough time for planning, and it is perfectly amazing how little I get done without it.” Precisely Mr. Bettger, I couldn’t agree more.

Enjoy the following poem found in Mr. Bettger’s book “How I Raised Myself from Failure to Success in Selling”.

There may be nothing wrong with you

The way you live, the work you do,

But I can very plainly see

Exactly what is wrong with me.

It isn’t that I’m indolent

Or dodging duty by intent;

I work as hard as anyone,

And yet I get so little done,

The morning goes, the noon is here,

Before I know, the night is near,

And all around me, I regret

Are things I haven’t finished yet.

If I could just get organized!

I oftentimes have realized

Not all that matters is the man;

The man must also have a plan.

With you, there may be nothing wrong,

But here’s my trouble right along;

I do the things that don’t amount

To very much, of no account,

That really seem important though

And let a lot of matters go.

I nibble this, I nibble that,

But never finish what I’m at.

I work as hard as anyone,

And yet, I get so little done,

I’d do so much you’d be surprised,

If I could just get organized!

By Mrs. Douglas Malloch

Day 86: Are You Running On Auto-Pilot?

As a business professional in a new city, I joined a networking group to get to know people. So if I haven’t already told you, I belong to a BNI Chapter in Yaletown – BNI Marinaside, “the best chapter in the lower mainland”. BNI stands for Business Networking International and is a group of highly qualified and professional business owners who are the cream of the crop. At least in my opinion they are. They are the type of people that go above and beyond the call of duty, the type of people you hope to find to do business with, and even better than that…it is a community of fun people that actually care about each other and consequently end up feeling more like family. And when I say family, I mean the kind that you like. HA! Personally, I love it.

So I go every Tuesday morning at the crack of dawn to meet with like minds. And as much as I hate to admit it, it is also the best time of day too actually. I have been going for quite a few months now, and even though I get up at an ungodly hour when most people are in dreamland, it has now become a habit I look forward to.

Today was different though. Lately I have been so busy that life has been flying by me. I guess you could say I have been running on auto-pilot, as I don’t really remember much. Not exactly a good thing. Today, however, I learned just how much I have been on auto-pilot and not paying attention because I went the wrong way. In my haste this morning I took the “scenic route”, a detour...or if I were being honest, I wasn’t paying attention and simply went the wrong way. When I realized what I was doing, it made me wonder…how much of my life am I on auto-pilot? How much of my life am I so distracted by thoughts and other things that I am not even paying attention to the present moment? The answer is far too much. Thank God I was only walking.

There were days though, when I used to drive, that I would travel quite often from my hometown in Manitoba to the nearest city an hour away…and most of those times I couldn’t even remember the drive. I only remember leaving and arriving, and all the middle was a blur. I was in the “zone”. Which gets me to thinking…is this how I really want to live life? As a blur? Not really. I don’t even know when things changed or when I got so caught up in it. It seems I am always “going” and never staying or slowing down to enjoy; very rarely anyway. Even when I look back at my life thus far, I have been on the go for the past 10 years, travelling mostly. These past three years since moving to Vancouver have been the longest I have stayed in one place since I graduated 13 years ago.

Holy cow. Has it already been that long!? Yeesh.

So here’s a question for you, how do you get out of the “blur”? How do you not get caught up in it, yet still get what you need done, done? I would sure love to know.

Too bad cloning weren’t an option eh? I could use a few extra me’s.

Oh, and by the way, if you are interested in checking out my BNI Chapter to find a professional for WHATEVER you need, let me know and I will invite you as my guest. Not only would I love to meet my blog supporters, but I hope that I can help you find some inside connections too. Helping each other is what it’s all about anyway right?  ;o)

Day 85: Music…The Universal Language of The Soul

I scored MAJOR brownie points yesterday with my surprise 2-day tribute to Mother’s Day blog. She loved it and I made her cry. “Apparently I put my mascara on too early…lol.” she emailed me.

Mission accomplished!  *fist pump*

Truth be told, I cried too…like a baby. I made the mistake of listening to the two songs as I wrote the posts, and a wave of immense gratitude and a deep love swept over me. Ok, so I can be sentimental sometimes. But I love how music always manages to express how I feel in the moment; especially when I can’t find the words myself.

I also love how universal music is too. It is beauty expressed, and I could not even imagine a life without it. It needs no words to move you, yet it speaks to the heart and touches the soul just the same. It is a language that speaks to everyone. It even spoke to Beethoven, and he was deaf.

Music and me, we go waaaay back. And no matter the genre…classical, pop, rock, alternative, jazz…The Chipmunks…you name it, I love it. (Well, mostly anyway).  It helps me express sorrow when sad, anger when upset, elation when in love, and joy when I celebrate. Whatever my mood is, there always seems to be a song that can accompany it, which consequently amplifies and intensifies the feeling even more.

So this morning as I was making my breakfast before going to work, it was no surprise that this song came on the radio as I was already thinking about my blog and my future Mr. Right:

I also find it ironic (and disturbingly weird) that this video takes place in a grocery store (how I wanted to meet Mr. Right) with the same name as my hometown. I would seriously laugh if that happened though…as there are not a whole lot of prospects in a town of 2,500 people consisting mostly of retirement homes. Gives a whole new meaning to security, eh? HA!

No worries, the Hugh Hefner look is not my type. Eww.

Day 84: For Mom….

When it comes to mom’s I swear I am the luckiest woman alive. Thinking about how blessed I am brings tears of joy to my eyes. Literally.

I wish I could share her with everyone. Beautiful on the inside and out; she is the one woman that I would be proud to grow up and be like. If I had to pick a hero, she would be mine. More than a “mom”, she is my best friend…and I love her with all I have. She is the one woman on this Earth who gave me the only two things a person really needs….life and love…and then some more. She encouraged, she inspired, she supported, she led by example. I am lucky to be her daughter.

So I would like to dedicate a song to my mom, and all the other wonderful mom’s out there, who truly deserve more than just a day of respect and gratitude. They deserve every day. Ladies, this song is for you.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Day 83: The Perfect Fan...Meet My “Mamma Bear”

Meet my mom… a.k.a. “Mamma Bear”.

College Grad 2009

My mom is hands down my biggest fan. She has always been there for me – consoling me in my darkest hours and beside me in my victories. She has seen pretty much everything. So when I decided to start blogging, she naturally supported me in that too.

Now my mom (God bless her lovely soul) is not all that computer literate yet. She tried commenting on my blog the other day, but it didn’t work out….so she sent me an email instead. With her permission, this is what she shared with me:

“I have a great respect for you because you dare to be yourself. What I have learned is that in life we can emulate and learn from others who inspire us, but the greatest gift we could ever give is to be ourselves. It is an honor to see you walk in your own moccasins! I celebrate with you the sacred journey.”     ~ Love, Mom

Awwww…thanks mom! Here’s something for you, my #1 song for MY #1 fan…from YOUR #1 fan. Thanks for showing me the way.

...and thanks for always being wonderfully you. I love you. xox

Day 82: Are You Planting Seeds of Greatness?

People are like goldfish; they will only grow to the size of the bowl you put them in.

I just have to say, my mom is amazing. Growing up, my mom was the kind of mom that every kid wanted – loving, kind and encouraging.  She truly was and is still amazing.

Years ago now, she drew me a picture of a space shuttle among the clouds with the words “the sky is the limit” scribed along the top. She was the one who introduced me to the idea that possibilities were endless, and that I could do and be anything that I wanted to do or be. She was a forward-thinker, and she was brilliant. She didn’t just put me in a bigger bowl; she set me free into the sea of possibilities.

Talk about planting seeds of greatness! (Thanks Mom)

So when I hear someone use the power of the spoken word to hurt another rather than uplift them, I have a hard time from wanting to go postal on them. Hearing someone degrade or demean another, or calling them “stupid” does not sit well with me…even worse when I hear a parent say it to their child. It is comments like these that seriously limit people and have them believing false beliefs about themselves. The effects are damaging, and it keeps them small, and keeps them swimming in a small bowl too.

So let me ask you…are you planting seeds of greatness today?

Day 81: The Secret To Getting What You Want Is…

Ask.

Good things don’t come to those who wait; they come to those who ask. I learn this lesson repeatedly both in my business life and in my personal life. If you want repeat business, ask for it. If you meet someone you like and want to go for coffee, ask.

I remember one of the first times that I learned this lesson; I was 12 years old and at a junior high dance. And just so you understand the context of my story, junior high for me was the early 90’s; when neon was in, the hair a mile high, Hammer pants were cool, and Vanilla Ice tunes ruled the dance floor. Ice Ice Baby…baby!

I think I just dated myself.

Anyway, these dances were always the same. You would dance your heart out with jammin’ tunes for three hours…and then came the dreaded last two slow songs of the night. Predictably, the dance floor of the school gym would clear out (with the exception of a few couples dancing) and would suddenly divide into two groups; guys on one side of the gym, girls on the other. It was as if suddenly everyone had a case of the cooties and couldn’t stand next to each other, although just two minutes prior we were all dancing side by side bopping to the music. Reflecting back, I find it rather amusing and funny.

Now normally, I am a really shy girl. I have always been that way as far as I can remember. However, when it comes to dancing, I became someone else. It was the one avenue in life where I could let go and not care…and be free. I loved dancing. I loved dancing so much that I lost my inhibitions and shyness. It was as if the world around me fell away and no longer existed. There was no music; I was the music. There was no dance; I was the dance. It was my euphoria. So when it came to the time of night when everything slowed down, I didn’t want to stop. And I did what was practically unheard of at the time…I got up the nerve to walk over to the other side of the gym and asked a boy to dance.

Now even though he said no, I learned a very valuable lesson that evening. I learned that I have nothing to lose by asking, and everything to lose if I don’t.

Day 80: Do You Believe In Fate?

For the longest time, throughout all my younger years, I believed in fate, luck, chance, and destiny. I believed if I was good enough, waited patiently long enough and wished hard enough, whatever I desired or hoped for would magically appear …someday, somewhere, somehow…because it was my destiny. But both you and I know that is not how it really works. Neither closing your eyes tightly, crossing your fingers, nor hope alone make dreams happen; however, hope CAN be used to fuel the action to unleash the magic that moves the proverbial mountain.

Do I still believe in fate? No. I believe in making our own. I believe that whatever we focus our attention on will naturally draw nearer to us because we ACT in the direction towards it. So if you find yourself waiting around for the golden ticket, you just might be waiting a while. Life is for those who go out and get it.

Needless to say, I don’t wait around for life to happen TO me. I get inspired, grab the bull by the horns and hang on for the ride. I am back in the saddle baby! Not sure where you stand? Then ask yourself, are you the spectator or the rider? Are you living life or is life living you?

Do yourself a favor, get in the ring. The ride is worth the risk.

Day 79: Be Not Afraid…Speak Up and Make Your Voice Count

Believe it or not, there was a time when I was shy; afraid of talking to people (strangers or not), of being seen and being heard. Even my voice was small if that makes any sense. I don’t really have a logical explanation for it either, as I have been this way ever since I can remember. And regardless of my education in counseling/coaching I still haven’t figured it out, just mere speculation of possibilities.

So up until now I have always played the part of the “silent observer”. If you walked into a room you wouldn’t even know I was there. As a child I would hide when company came, I was nicknamed “mouse” on more than one occasion, and then in college I still rarely spoke…only when required or needed. I was the fly on the wall; I heard everything, but said nothing.

That is, until one day a college professor told me that I am “cheating” the rest of the class, robbing them of their experience of me.

Not sure what she meant by that, I naturally asked, “How so?”

“What you have to say is important. When you don’t participate, when you do not speak, you are not only keeping people from getting to know you, but you are also essentially keeping important information from people. How do you know that what you say won’t profoundly affect someone else? What if when you share what you are thinking, what is inside of you…what if that information is key to inspiring someone else or them “getting it”? What if by sharing your light, you illuminate another?”

Hmmm…I never thought of that.

She was right. The truth was I didn’t know. I was more afraid of what people would think than honoring my own thoughts, feelings, and right for speech. And really, no one kept me there but me.

So I changed. No longer afraid of what people think, I speak up and express my truths. There is a profound sense of freedom in that. And in so doing, being open to sharing the gift of who I truly am, the world has becomes smaller, the faces friendlier, and wherever I go I always meet friends.

Even in an elevator.

Day 78: An Attitude of Success. What Does That Look Like? Barf Apparently.

I define success as one of those things where you never, never give up. It is a mental attitude, and is not a game for quitters. The persistence will pay off, and eventually you will get it right. I have learned this lesson many times, and many times forgot it just as quickly…until today that is.

I have been on a mission lately. Over the past few months I have lived with numerous different Korean roommates, one of which made me a Korean pancake once, and I fell in love. Not with the roommate, with the pancake of course. And then she left, and all I was left with was a partial ingredient list and a half understanding of how to make it. So I tried anyways, and for the past two days I have been experimenting with half a recipe trying to get it right. The first batch tasted like glue, and would have been suitable for a kindergarten class pasting project. The second batch was no better, except I added WAAAAY too much salt. Talk about a pucker-face. HA!

Now, if I didn’t like pancakes so much, I might have packed it in and just stuck to my regular North American-style sugar laden pancakes. Not a chance. When this gal has an idea in her head, there is no stopping her in getting it. So what if I had to have pancakes three times today? I certainly didn’t get to where I am today by quitting things.

So with the help of social media, some good friends, a great recipe, and a little patience I went for round three. Third time is a charm they say…and they (whoever “they” is) are right!

Voila!

Now even though my younger siblings make fun of me, and think it looks like barf, I still think it looks yummy. And it was. The only thing unhealthy about the recipe was the flour. The rest was made of green onions, leeks, zucchini, eggs, water…and a wee bit of salt. My siblings can have their sugar loaded pancakes; I’ll live the longest, look the youngest, and laugh the hardest when their bad dietary habits catch up…and it will. I am the oldest of five, and I still look younger than they do.

HA! Eat that kiddos! (Literally).

Being older and wiser I know though that it is only a matter of time when they ask me (just like I asked my mom, after I knew it all)…”So, what is that you are doing again?” And I will smile a humble smile, hold my glass high, toast to their health, serve them my barf-looking pancakes, and bid them “Bon appétit!”

Morale of the Story:

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”  ~W.C. Fields

…or destroy all evidence that you tried.  ;o)

Day 77: The Importance of Self-care

How many of you are like me and usually put the wellbeing of others first and usually forget about yourself? Or perhaps you find yourself last on your own list of things to do after "get milk, do taxes & finish work project".

I imagine there are quite a few of us who do this...especially if you are a parent. If there is one thing I learned in college though, it was the value of self-care. We all need it. For some it means bubble baths, a quiet night in, a good book, a movie, or even meditation if you are into that sort of thing.

My self-care day is Sunday, a day of rest. Well not a whole day, a morning actually...but at least I can call it mine. It is the one day of the week I do not run by an alarm clock and I can do whatever I want. I wake up as nature intended, I read, I write, and I enjoy quiet moments. It is the one day that I am not run by a schedule or rushed out the door with such a fury that I have to look down and see if I remembered putting on pants. If I had to pick one song that would express my Sunday morning sentiments, I think this one suits it very well…except that I don’t own a Snuggie, I don’t know how to Douggie, I am not a freakin’ man…and due to my dating restrictions, no one will be screaming out “Oh my God, this is great.”  HA!  Have a listen…viewer discretion is advised.

Weird video I know, but I like the catchy tune and lyrics. Besides, the whistling monkeys make me laugh every time. (Hope I didn’t offend anyone).
 
Whatever it is for you though, there needs to be some sort of unwinding and time to show yourself that you matter to you. And truth be told, when you show yourself that you matter to you first...Mr. Right will notice. So go ahead and make yourself count. No one else will do it for you.
 
Well, unless your life is like the movie "Freaky Friday" where you switch bodies with another person for a day. Then I would tradsies with you and do it for you. I am pretty sure that you can twist my rubber arm to have all the fun for you too! But no worries, I promise you can have you back after I'm done relaxing. ;)