Day 81: The Secret To Getting What You Want Is…

Ask.

Good things don’t come to those who wait; they come to those who ask. I learn this lesson repeatedly both in my business life and in my personal life. If you want repeat business, ask for it. If you meet someone you like and want to go for coffee, ask.

I remember one of the first times that I learned this lesson; I was 12 years old and at a junior high dance. And just so you understand the context of my story, junior high for me was the early 90’s; when neon was in, the hair a mile high, Hammer pants were cool, and Vanilla Ice tunes ruled the dance floor. Ice Ice Baby…baby!

I think I just dated myself.

Anyway, these dances were always the same. You would dance your heart out with jammin’ tunes for three hours…and then came the dreaded last two slow songs of the night. Predictably, the dance floor of the school gym would clear out (with the exception of a few couples dancing) and would suddenly divide into two groups; guys on one side of the gym, girls on the other. It was as if suddenly everyone had a case of the cooties and couldn’t stand next to each other, although just two minutes prior we were all dancing side by side bopping to the music. Reflecting back, I find it rather amusing and funny.

Now normally, I am a really shy girl. I have always been that way as far as I can remember. However, when it comes to dancing, I became someone else. It was the one avenue in life where I could let go and not care…and be free. I loved dancing. I loved dancing so much that I lost my inhibitions and shyness. It was as if the world around me fell away and no longer existed. There was no music; I was the music. There was no dance; I was the dance. It was my euphoria. So when it came to the time of night when everything slowed down, I didn’t want to stop. And I did what was practically unheard of at the time…I got up the nerve to walk over to the other side of the gym and asked a boy to dance.

Now even though he said no, I learned a very valuable lesson that evening. I learned that I have nothing to lose by asking, and everything to lose if I don’t.