Day 137: My Birthday Wish

I had a rather hilarious lesson in the power of our words today.  After yesterday’s blog about being attracted to men shorter than myself, I got approached by none other than a “pocket puppy” today while trying to shop at the grocery store. Now it wouldn’t have been so bad if he wasn’t such a perv with slightly inappropriate comments, and bordering either FIFTY or SIXTY…but well…yeah. It was interesting. It will be nice after the next 7months 14days 1hour and 17minutes, when I actually have a boyfriend walking beside me so I don’t have to deal with that crap. Not like I am counting though. HA!

So I was thinking, perhaps I need to be a little more clear. You know, be more specific when I define what it is I want. I thought about wearing a shirt like this for humour’s sake:

"You must be THIS tall to ride." ----->  ________


But that most certainly would cause more trouble for me.

And although I mentioned I like older more mature guys, and Sean Connery certainly was a human oddity and still had sex appeal well into his 70’s, when it comes to age I do have my limits. I have said before that I like older and mature men, however I don’t mean older than my dad. I am neither looking for a sugar daddy nor do I suffer from a Daddy-Complex thanks. Truthfully, anything over 45 is too close to his age and grosses me out. Trust me…been there before. And once I see the resemblance….*shudders*…I don’t even want to think about it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my dad, but that takes it a bit too far.

Yuck. Excuse me a minute while I go bleach my brain and burn my eyes from the thought. Boo for mental imagery.

…and I am back.

Now seeing as I turn 31 in exactly 20 days, anywhere in the 30’s is ideal…preferably the mid to latter half. Thinking about it is driving me crazy though. Since my five-year “not interested” phase very recently ended, I don’t know who finds it harder with my no dating rule…me or the dudes. The tides have turned and the roles have reversed, and now I am thinking, “this is much harder than I anticipated”. ESPECIALLY since I am now kind of interested in someone… who has absolutely no idea. At least I don’t think he does. I am keeping it on the mum for now, but it is definitely a distraction.

Hmmm…here’s a question for you. Hypothetically speaking, since it is my birthday soon and I get to make a wish, and that said wish is to make-out with said dude…does that still mean I am breaking the rules? Or is there a birthday exception?

Trust me to find a loop-hole for everything.  My mother always said I was a mischievous one!  ;o)

Day 136: Want To Know A Secret? I Like Shorter Guys.

You are probably not going to believe this, but I am actually intimidated by tall people. What makes that so weird? Well, I am tall.

I have towered over everyone most of my life, including most of my family. So being around tall people is not really all that natural for me. At 5'11 barefoot, and about 6'1 with any regular shoe, I am a tall drink of water to say the least. And in Vancouver of all places I tower over many people, so I get noticed. And when I choose to go out and wear heels, I am about 6'3, so even more so.

Now normally, this is not a problem, as I am used to it. I have learned to embrace it, and now enjoy it. No more slouching to make myself look smaller, or lean against things to make myself the same size as everyone else. Even when I gain weight no one can tell because it has to s-t-r-e-t-c-h  a long long way. It works for me...except for buying clothes, that's a bugger.

No, that's not the problem at all. The problem is actually on the dating scene. Why? Because I like guys either my height or shorter...but not all shorter men like tall woman. It can be a bit of a challenge sometimes.

And then I got curious. There HAS to be more than just me who can appreciate the qualities of a shorter guy, so I Googled it. And guess what. There is a plethora of people like me; even Hollywood "A" listers like Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. In fact, I found a GREAT article on it called "Why Do Tall Women Love Little Men". If you want to check it out, go to: http://bit.ly/lEn3Hg . I thought it was pretty great, and pretty bang on.

So there is hope for me yet!

 But maybe not this short....

...I don't exactly want a pocket dog.

Day 135: Not Your Average Joe…or Jane

When it comes to what I want in my life I know that I am not like the majority, and I am ok with that. I know I am probably one of the rare few that will ever say this, but here it goes…I would rather be a step-mom than have my own kids.

I know I kind of alluded to this the other day, but I didn’t realize how odd it was to most people until my friend looked at me with really wide shocked eyes.

“I have never heard that before!” he said.

And I get it. I don’t know too many people that want to have an insta-family either; but I do. I have my reasons. In fact, when I psychoanalyze myself, I notice a pretty prominent pattern of mine. I tend to date single parents. I didn’t even notice that until now. Pretty interesting huh? Perhaps the saying is true -“one person’s trash is another person’s treasure”.
So why do I even tell you this? Because when you are looking at choosing your Mr. Right, I think it is important to recognize and know your own values and how they play out in your life. Tis better to be aware than ignorant. Ignorance only causes pain not bliss.

What do you value?

;o)

Day 134: Home Is Where Your Heart Is

Now just to fill you in on some background, I have been on the road and travelling for a very long time…10 years to be exact. And it was 10 years ago that I made a collage that read, “Heading for high adventure in search of Home Sweet Home.” And that is exactly what these past years have felt like; an adventure and constant longing for a place I could belong to, a place made just for me. I have sailed the seas, searched the skies, and traversed across continents in order to find such a place; a place where my heart could call “Home”. And you know what? I think I finally found it.

I spent this past weekend taking in some much need R&R…and R. Rest, Relaxation, and Rock and Roll. Because I am still in my first year of business and still working at making it work, I don’t actually get out much. I have been leading a bit of an unbalanced life for a little too long…far too much work and very little (if any) play. So when a last minute opportunity knocked on my door to get away from the every day, I took it. I turned off my phone, disconnected from anything technological, and promised myself a day for me without distractions. It was difficult at first, but I managed. And personally, I think it was the single most best thing I have done all year.

As I mentioned a couple blogs ago, I left the mainland for the first time in three and a half years and headed over to the Sunshine Coast for an impromptu getaway and a gathering of like minds and super fantastic people. Just stepping onto the ferry and looking out the window into nothing but trees and water had such a calming effect on me. For the first time in a long time I felt I could breathe again; the kind of breath that reminds you of your connection to what truly is, and what truly matters. And when I crossed over the waters and arrived at my destination, I felt something I haven’t felt in years…I felt like I was home. The people, the place, the experience…everything.

That. Whatever happened to me there, THAT is what I want more of. Everything about that weekend was magical and I truly wish I could capture it in a bottle. It was more than just a beautiful memory; it was a redefining moment. What originally started off as an innocent comment lead to a trip that re-defined what I want for myself and what I want my life to look like. By mere “accident” I found the “it” I have been searching for this whole time, and I don’t feel like I have to keep searching for the “it” anymore. I found it, and I now have something I can work towards.

I am heading homeward bound my friends, and love is just around the corner. I can feel it. Life can only get better from here on in.

 …and you know what? I got my wish. The sky cleared and I got to gaze upon the stars I haven’t seen in what seems an eternity. Thank you God for answered prayers.

Day 133: Done Like Dinner

Okay sports fans, I really want to write you an awesome account of this weekend's exciting activities, however I am burnt out, burnt, and doing the bobble-head typing again. So that means I am going to go inspect my eyelids for holes this evening as part of my regularly scheduled maintenance program. Oh those pesky holes! ;o)

Day 132: Going Home

Would you believe that I have been in this city for three and a half years now and have never even been to one of the islands yet? Crazy huh? So when I had a last minute opportunity to hang out with good friends for good eats away from the hustle and bustle of the city I jumped on it. And here I am on my first ferry ride ever heading over to the sunshine coast, even though it is not so sunshiny.
It is good, you know, to get away. There is only so much one can work without taking a break. Something I need to learn yet. And I am about as excited as a kid in a candy store to get away from the concrete jungle and get back to my roots...and real nature that's not a man-made city block park.
You know what would totally make this trip even better? If the skies would clear up for nightfall so that I can go outside and watch the stars again. I miss the stars. I miss wishing upon them and daydreaming and just being for the sake of being. I never realized until this moment how disconnected I have become. Perhaps I will have to make a point to do this more often.
Surrounded now by water and trees...it feels like I am returning home.

Day 131: What Topics Matter To You Most

You know what I love about blogging? You, the reader…my fans.  Your comments, suggestions, support and tips are always welcomed and appreciated. It has become super fun for me and I really love the interactive-ness of it.

Take blog Day 129 for example. I received a really cool comment from another woman who felt the same as me. She too absolutely LOVES kids, but does not want any of her own. I for one, really appreciated the comment because it was nice to have someone else understand how I feel and not look at me like I am a leper, and as if there is something wrong with me.

Anyway, this friend of mine sent me a cool link for people EXACTLY like me. The company’s name is No Kidding and their website is http://www.nokidding.net/index.html. I have already contacted them to get more information. I wouldn’t mind joining the team, just so that I can meet like-minded individuals. If I do join, I will keep you posted to all my updates here.

Now before I go (as I have been nodding off for the past two hours now), I want to ask you this:

What topics would you like me to talk about or cover? What topics matter to you most? You can ask me anything.

Day 130: Writer's Block

It was bound to happen sooner or later. Normally I am pretty good at the writing thing, but for some reason I am not "flowing" today and I am experiencing what I call "writer's block". Perhaps it is the fact that it is nearly 3am, but either way...not much is coming out, and my brain is starting to turn into a puddle of mush from thinking so hard. I have made many attempts at writing, but none that satisfy me. So I am going to have to surrender and call it a night. Perhaps tomorrow will be better.

Cheerio!

Day 129: I Do Not Follow The Status Quo

Ok, I know I said I would write a specialty blog today, however it is not ready and I would rather spend the proper time towards doing it right rather than slap something together. Not my style. I should have it ready for you tomorrow though, so hang tight.

Now if you remember, my roommates are Korean, so we learn a lot about each other; our cultural differences…and our similarities. This particular conversation was around relationships and boys, and what I am looking for in a relationship. So when I told them that I would be interested in dating a man who already has kids, my roommates where shocked and stared at me with eyes as big as saucers.

“But he would have kids!”

“Yes.”

“That doesn’t bother you?”

“Nope. I prefer it that way. No pressure on me to have any.”

(Wide eyed) “But why?”

“Why not?”

For me it is no big deal, I have done it before. If I like the guy, I like the guy…and kids are all part of the package. I have never really followed the status quo, and I don’t want what everyone else wants either. I am not looking for Mr. Perfect, I am looking for Mr. Perfect-For-Me. And you know what, as long as I am happy I don’t really care what other people THINK I should do. I am 99.99% sure I don’t want kids of my own, and have been pretty firm on that since I was 18yrs old; so I am either looking for someone who doesn’t want any or already has them. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE kids…I just don’t want to birth any.

And apparently I am not alone. Since I have been sharing pretty much everything with you guys, I have found more women like me. Not all of us are dying to get into the white dress and have kids of our own you know.  

To each their own.

Day 128: Taking Charge of My Health…Eating Right, Aliens & Impregnation

Seriously, where do I come up with these headlines? Perhaps I really am one Froot Loop short of a bowl. And if you are reading this, I guess you would be too – guilty by association. lol

As you know, this blog started because my health wasn’t all that great, and I decided that enough was enough already, and chose to take charge of it and take it back. And although I have been doing that over the past four months, recently I have been ramping up the efforts a lot more. I think of it this way - I can do it slowly and stretch it out over a long while and be in pain and suffering for longer, or just cut the sh*t and get moving. So I am moving. Not literally moving as in moving cities, I mean taking action.

Since I wrote about the “Eat Right For Your Blood Type” nutrition program (blog Day 74: Eat Right For Your Blood Type – What Type Are You? http://bit.ly/kSagVc) I have been following it pretty closely…mostly. Except for the odd Tim Bits and Marble Slab ice cream I would say I have been a pretty good girl. And it has been helping me. I am type “O”, which means I need meat and I should avoid wheat and dairy; and since I have cut out wheat (for the most part) I have been feeling a LOT better.  No more looking like I am six months pregnant when we all know it is literally impossible at the moment…unless my real name is Mary. Or perhaps I am being mysteriously impregnated and probed by aliens in my sleep. I guess then it would be a possibility. And if option #2 were true, then does that mean I am technically cheating on my no man, no sex diet? I mean…if I am sleeping and unaware does it count? That just opens a whole new can of worms, doesn’t it.

How did I ever get to the topic of aliens and impregnation anyway? Ok, back to health.

I am not sure if you remember me saying that I can’t cook (blog Day 61: Wanted – A Mr. Right That Cooks http://bit.ly/kHRb3q), but I lied. I found out I can! I am still not the greatest, but at least I am doing something about it and experimenting with different things on my blood type safe foods list. So far I can cook steak and veggies really well without overcooking. For someone who couldn’t cook steak or any type of meat before and veggies better suited as baby food mush, I think that’s an improvement.

My modified, non-wheat Korean pancakes substituted with buckwheat are a different story though. If you are on my Twitter-feed, you would know that my once prized pancakes have gone down the crapper. No really, they are THAT bad. Perhaps my cue would have been the fact that the batter looked like mud with a similar consistency. The big surprise happened though when I first flipped the pancake to cook the other side. It smelled like a**. Sorry for the vulgarity, but it nearly made me sick. I literally took a step back and went “Whoaaa!” I didn’t realize that the buckwheat flour would smell so bad. And you know what? I ate them anyway. I tried adding more stuff to hide the taste…leeks and onions to the first batch; feta cheese to the second; LOTS of honey to the third. It was like adding ketchup to cooked liver, still doesn't cut it. Needless to say, I won’t be making those again. But I won’t give up. Not this girl. I am determined to find solutions to my health, and I will try try again until I succeed. Not too sure what to do with the buckwheat flour now, but I am sure I will get creative. More cooking adventures sure to come!

Stay tuned tomorrow to find out what else I was up to today to fully take charge of my health. It will be a specialty blog. I tell you, it was a stacked day, and I am going to be one super human being once this year is over.

BOO YAH!  ;o)

…to infinity and beyond!

Day 127: Good Advice From Two Good Guys

You know, I wonder sometimes if I am doing the right thing. I question myself whether this whole challenge is worth it; if holding out is worth the wait. And every time I doubt myself, the Universe sends someone my way to tell me “Yes”, the wait IS worth it, and the right guy will be there at the end of the rainbow. So in this, I have to trust and keep on trucking.

Thankfully I know a little more than I used to, and two months from now I will know a little more than I do today. So when I doubt myself and think “Well, what if I meet someone…and what if they won’t wait?”, then I remind myself that if they were meant for me, then they would understand the importance of what I am creating and encourage and support me in it…cheering me on towards the finish line and welcoming me with open arms on the other side of it. I certainly would do it for someone I loved, and I have…so why would it be so hard to conceive that the opposite be true too?

And then it happened. I received the answer to my question. I had a conversation with two different guy friends of mine on two different days who told me THAT is exactly what they did. They loved, and they waited because they knew the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow would be worth it…and it was. And to hear it coming from a guy’s perspective really changed things for me. To hear it from TWO guys, rather randomly, solidified it.

Fear. Fear is the culprit of the day and of the hour. It is fear who speaks in my weakest moments, casts doubt in my mind, uncertainty in my heart, and wants to settle for the path of least resistance. And I guess, when I find myself here, it is to remember what my two wise friends shared – Love, when it is real, is worth holding out for. And love, when it is true, will still be there at the end of the day. And if it dies before the candle does, then it was never to be in the first place.

“I am not looking for someone I can live with; I am looking for someone I can’t live without.”

Day 126: For Dad...My One And Only Poppa Bear

I hope you remembered your father’s today…I did. You may not know this about me, but family is super important to me. They are my number one, and I will love them no matter what. Things haven’t always been perfect, but they are all I have and I keep them close. I used to think of my brothers and I as the three musketeers growing up…a band of brotherhood that would never break. We fought like cats and dogs, but when it came down to it we were still each other’s best friend. And even though I don’t often get the chance to go home, and wish I could do so more often, I always make an effort to communicate and connect in whatever way I can. It’s funny you know, you appreciate more what you have when you don’t have it.

So today in honor of Father’s Day, I wanted to honor my own dad.

Here is a man who tried his best to make a ponytail for me when he didn’t know how, who thought I looked cute in my little Brownie outfit and was so proud he HAD to take pictures, who taught me how to ride my first bike until I ran over my brother, who taught me how to fish until I dropped the pole in the lake, who taught me how to drive without complaining of whiplash, who made HUGE forts out of bales for me to play in, who let me tag along on the farm and do everything he did, who taught me how to work the land and respect it, who showed me the meaning of hard work and dedication towards a profession by doing it, who is always of service to others, who gave me my unique and twisted sense of humor we all seem to enjoy, who gives more than he gets, who is loyal to a fault, who would stand up and defend those whom he loved, who puts himself last, and would always always helps out a friend in need.

For everything you are, and everything you have been....thank you. Happy Father’s Day. I love you. xox

And for all you dads out there, including mine (and my brothers who are also fathers), this song is for you. It brought a tear to my own eye...enjoy.

Day 125: Unsung Heroes

Today will be the last day that I mention anything about the Vancouver riot from here on in, as I do not wish to give any more attention to the people that do not deserve it. However, there are some people who DO deserve some respect and recognition, and tonight’s blog post is for them…the unsung heroes who stood up for what was right and just, and fought for our city…our home.

To the Vancouver Police Department, Fire Department, and First Responders…who serve to protect. I want to thank you for doing your best, with what you had, to keep us safe.  Your best is all we can ask for.  In the face of mayhem you brought peace back to our city, and I for one appreciate it.

To the volunteer clean-up crew… who selflessly took time out of their lives for love of our city and our country.  Thank you for being a true Vancouverite and doing what it takes to keep our city OUR city and making it beautiful once again…even if it means cleaning up someone else’s mess. You are the spirit that keeps the pride alive.

And finally, to the unsung heroes…who without protective gear stood in the face of fear and danger, and risked their OWN lives to protect what they love and do what is right. YOU are the ones that bring tears to my eyes. YOU are what heroes are made of. I may not know you, but I stand up and applaud you. You give me hope of a better tomorrow.

With all of my heart I thank you...all of you.

This video tribute is for you:

Now before I go, I want to say this. To the rest of Canada, the Boston Bruins, and the world...I want to apologize for what you had to see that night. It was an atrocity that was not the Vancouver as I know it. Any true Vancouverite and Canucks fan found it heartbreaking, disgusting, and vile. Please don't let the few ruin what the rest of us work so hard for. There are more good people here than not...and I am one of them.

And to the Boston Bruins...good game. You played well, and won fair and square. You deserved the cup and I am sorry that the stupidity of a few overshadowed your well-deserved win. The better team won…for now.

Day 124: Game Misconduct (Part Two)

Thank you Rex Murphy of CBC’s The National for eloquently putting into words what I have been feeling these past two days since the riot took place.

If you are interested in the original video link and transcript, please click the following link http://bit.ly/kyY8J1.

Day 123: Game Misconduct (Part One)

Yesterday was an absolute disgrace. It was a sad sad day in history…where we didn’t just lose The Cup, we lost our dignity.

What was supposed to be a day of gathering, sportsmanship, and celebration turned into a violent upheaval that tore our beloved city apart. It was the act of a few that ruined it for the thousands, and gave both Vancouver and Canadians a bad name.

The riot was surreal; and the fact that it was occurring at my front door steps made it a little too close to home for me. I have to admit, I cried. On the inside my heart sunk to see such loss and devastation; to watch humanity sink to a new low.

I was so upset, disgusted and disappointed over what happened that I couldn’t even write last night. Lost in anger, sadness, confusion, and disbelief there were far too many emotions to write clearly. The riot was one thing, that it happened in my own neighborhood was another. It was surreal.

Broken windows, brutality, looting, tear gas, police cars lit on fire…it was a horrific spectacle that had many Vancouverites watch on in disbelief. Was there any need? I think not. It was disgusting, and last night I was ashamed to call Vancouver home. What a disgrace.

Day 122

Hey sportsfans, I am taking a time out from writing this evening. The chaos after the Stanley Cup Final Game 7 has worn me out. I will tell you about it tomorrow though.

Day 121: To All Canucks & Canuck Fans…This One Is For You

I really love how sports can unite people no matter their sex, race, religion or background. Besides when the 2010 Olympics came to Vancouver, I have never seen a nation come together quite like this. The Stanley Cup Playoffs this year has been something else. To be honest, I don’t know why we can’t be like this all the time. It certainly would make for a much better friendly world wouldn’t it.

This is my first time watching NHL hockey and playoffs, and the energy in this city around “the game” amazes me. I have seen strangers hi-five, hug, and pat the backs of each other; paint faces, streak naked, and wear the code of blue together; scream, yell, and cheer on our players together; raise the flag, sing our anthem, and share patriotism together; eat, play and pray for the cup together; live, breathe and believe in a dream together; cheer, support, and unite for their team together; and clink glasses, share the spirit; and come under one nation together.

Long story short…we are doing it together.

So Vancouver, and anyone out there listening, what I want to say to you is this:

Remember this moment.

Remember what it feels like to unite under a common ground. Remember what it is like to come together as one…to see your neighbor as your friend, and a stranger, a stranger no more. There is nothing more powerful on this Earth than the power that unites us. Remember what we can accomplish when we find our similarities and fight for something together. Whether we win or lose do not lose message in our journey to this point…when we come together we always WIN.

Good luck Canucks…the heart of Vancouver is with you.

Game 7 is OURS.

Day 120: Happy Anniversary!

I did it. Four months today. Well actually, if you count the time before I “technically” started, it is actually six months. I swear, it has been so long that some days it feels like my eyes are about to bug out.

It’s all good though. I can do this.

I started off my week doing something I never thought I would do…get up freakishly early to go workout. Yes, every Monday morning I head to the gym before most people even wake up or brush their teeth. But it is worth it!

Don’t get me wrong though, it is not like I wake up with a pep in my step ready to greet the day…..noooooo. Not yet anyway. I look more like death warmed over.

However, upon my arrival at the gym I discovered two great reasons why I will never miss a workout appointment and would actually WANT to get up at the crack of dawn to go sweat for an hour. I have been enticed by candy….and I don’t mean M&M’s either. Yes, I said it…eye candy.

But don’t forget, I am doing this for you! You know…taking one for the team. It is my promise to you that I will do whatever it takes to show you how to live and lead a healthy life; and by golly if it means I have to look at hot guys for an hour every week, then I’ll do it. Oh how you twist my rubber arm!  ;o) 

Hey, whatever works, right? Any bets on how long I’ll last? LOL

After my hour workout with Ted (www.tedloofitness.com) on working at beefing up my badonkadonk, I felt alive again and ready to take on a whole new week. Walking home I no longer felt like death warmed over, but rather a sense of peace, joy and happiness wash over me. The endorphins from working out, the natural high that follows, and the abundance of energy after make it all worthwhile. It feels good to be back in the saddle and taking charge of my health.

Are you remembering to take care of yours?

Day 119: Shake Your Groove Thang, Shake Your Groove Thang…Come On!

I just gotta say…

HAHA! I love that video. I love it because it is true. I love big butts…mine in particular though because I actually have one now. I officially have a badonkadonk. ;o)

I have to admit, I don’t really understand the obsession to be uber thin and super skinny. I have never found the gaunt waif look that the media portrays and shoves down our throats to be very attractive. It is really no different and just as unhealthy as being overweight, except that it is oddly more socially acceptable. And even though I have always been naturally thin my whole life, I do prefer shapeliness. You know, someone you can look at and say, “Yeah, she eats meat”. And oddly enough, despite the thought that all guys prefer thin women…not true. I actually get looked at and asked out more now that I have put on a few pounds. Go figure.

The media certainly doesn’t help with their idyllic portrayal of the human body though. Their displays of photoshopped pictures of celebrities sets unrealistic expectations of women (and men), sends a distorted message to our subconscious, and creates unhealthy behaviours and an obsession with dieting. People are trying to live up to such high standards that are not even humanly possible. 

You know what I think is sexy? Curves. I prefer shape over stick thin. Always have, always will. So when I gained weight recently, and gained a badonkadonk, I was actually ecstatic. People started complimenting me on how good I looked, and the only thing different is that I now have drumsticks instead of chicken wings. I even told my trainer to make sure that I get to keep my booty. HA! Sounds crazy I know, but I am not your stereotypical woman either. I figure if I look and feel healthy, then I am on the right track. What do you think?

Day 118

Went to a friend’s wedding today and had an absolute blast! Unfortunately though, that also means I won’t be blogging tonight because my rule of thumb…never write while under the influence. My own fault though; I didn’t pre-plan the plan.

See you on the flipside my friends, this chica is going to inspect some eyelids again. Time for a maintenance check up!  ;o)

Day 117: Against All Odds

I found a video the other day of something really phenomenal. And when I watched it, I sat in disbelief and awe. It was a video so inspiring and incredibly touching that it moved me to tears more than once. And everyone I share it with can’t help but be moved too.

The video is of a Korean boy called Sung-bong Choi who is incredibly talented and gifted with the voice of an angel. But it wasn’t his voice that caught my attention (although it sure did), it was his story. At such a young tender age he rose against all odds and overcame adversities I hope that you or I would never have to face. And even with all the challenges he faced he didn’t let it bitter him; instead it fueled his passion for greatness all the while remaining truthfully humble. He inspires me.

I enjoyed this video immensely and now would like to share it with you. I hope that through all the hustle and bustle of life that you remember to count your blessings.

Day 116: Just One Of Those Days

Today I had what is called a “Nicole moment”. A moment that makes you ask yourself, “WTF!? What was I thinking!?” I obviously wasn’t. It was a wakeup call; a message for me to perhaps slow down a little bit and get present.

So what did I do? I am almost too embarrassed to tell you, but I will anyway because it was so funny. Read on.

So, like most days lately, I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Today I was so busy running around and running on autopilot that by the time I had gone through the lineup and finally made it to the wicket counter at the bank, I realized I was at the wrong bank. Yes, I did that. You should have seen the look on the guy’s face too when I realized it and then told him. He looked at me like I was on crack.

Day 115: My Secret Love Affair

It is true. I think I am in love. I didn’t really see it coming either; it just kind of hit me. And it’s true what they say, it will happen when you least expect it. And you know what? We met in the dairy aisle too, just like I said we would.

So who is it? Well, it’s not just one person actually; there are two. I met them both at the same time. Yes I said two. They are a little short mind you, but height doesn’t really matter to me. What they lack in size they make up for in other ways.

Not THAT way…Geez!!

I mean they are always there for me. They celebrate with me when I am happy, and they support me when I am sad. They are good listeners and NEVER try to fix me or “save” me. They are great emotional supporters, yet never ask anything of me. They enjoy long walks on the beach, movie nights in, and they don’t care if I wear sweatpants and a ponytail when I am at home. Sound too good to be true? I think not.

So who are these wondrous fellows? You already know them. Their names are Ben & Jerry, and apparently they are so good I can't keep my paws off of them either.

So much for my man diet eh! Does this make me a polyandrist now? Lol

Day 114

Blogging in progress...unless I fall asleep. :)

Day 113: Guilty Pleasures

Everybody has something. Mine just happens to be rich, smooth, flirts with me when I am vulnerable, heads straight for the hips, and has me wanting more every time.

No, it’s not a man, so get your mind out of the gutters. I am on a “man-diet” remember? And no it is not chocolate either. No… this delightful dish goes by the name of Ben & Jerry’s, and tonight I am having a threesome. And even though I probably shouldn’t be eating dairy, I keep returning to this lover’s tryst.

It’s like a relationship you know you shouldn’t be in, but for whatever reason you keep finding your way back to it. I just can’t help myself. I think I am in love. Seriously though, how can anyone resist those big gobs of cookie dough and oh so yummy chocolaty bits? Divine. I must go now….temptation is calling my name. 

MMMmmmmmm……so good!

Day 112: Taking Care Of Business

That was a classic.

“Taking care of business and working overtime” seemed to be the theme of my day today. Sundays are usually my day of rest, however with major deadlines looming I had to forego the lovely sunshine, put my nose to the ground, and remain focused. I tell you, it was hard to keep disciplined and stay inside when I wanted to go outside, but I did it. I know the reward of completing this project will be far greater and cause a bigger positive impact in the long run. The pain is only temporary.

It has been a pretty crazy day to say the least, and looking like a crazy week ahead too. I am not sure why, but it always seems to be that when I am supposed to have a “day off”, I am actually the most busy with work. Go figure! I am tying up the bookkeeping end of things (finally), then upgrading my website (myself), as well as launching a new service this week. Exciting yet crazy times ahead! If I thought I was busy before, it is about to get a LOT busier in just a few more days. Oh my.

 How do I do it all?

*shrugs*

Honestly… I don’t know. I guess where there's a will, there's a way.

Day 111: I Dreamed A Dream

Every time I watch this video, the combination of Susan Boyle’s angelic voice and beautiful lyrics not only stirs my soul, but pulls at my heart strings and make my eyes glisten with tears of joy. Why? Because she never gave up on her dream…and she made it. If you haven't seen the full video of Susan's first performance yet, you can check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_xFNa7YKDw.

Like Susan Boyle, I too dreamed a dream. I dream of becoming a writer; of being discovered and becoming a published author, and then travel the world over sharing my story and inspiring others with its content. Sure I may be considered young at only 30years old, and I look even younger yet, but let me assure you I have lived more life and had more experiences than most people twice my age and sometimes I wonder how I am still here. I definitely have a lot to say and share and the time is nearing. I don’t know the “how” it will happen, but I feel like somehow, some way, some day it will.

For the time being though, I will continue to write here, sharing with you my heart and experiences over this next year – only 254 more days to go! Consider these posts as the prelude to my “This Is Me” book whenever I get to writing it. You think this blog is candid? Wait until the book…it will be pretty intense.

Now if only I could find a publisher….

Day 110: Here’s Something You Didn’t Know

Today was a different kind of day, yet very much the same as all the others before it. What made it different though was something so subtle that if I weren’t paying attention I might have missed it. Even my clients noticed that something was different. Something shifted.

Let me explain.

What you don’t know about me, and what very few people know (until now) is that I have been emotionally dead for the past five years. My capacity for romantic love was kaput, gone, non-existent, nil, nadda, zero, zilch…get the point?

Why?

Well, it was five years ago when I fell madly and deeply in love and thought I met Mr. Forever. He was my best friend, my lover, my confidant, my everything. He was “supposed” to be the one I was going to marry. Dubbed the “Perfect Couple” and envied by anyone we met, it seemed magical.  However it didn’t turn out that way. I won’t go into details but what I will say is that when it became harmful I had to leave it. It was a tough decision to make because I am so fiercely loyal and I believe in giving it all you’ve got, working things out, and not giving up. However, I gave everything I had to it until there was nothing left to give. Unfortunately, one can only give so much until that well goes dry, and sometimes giving all you have got just is not enough. I wanted to keep on loving but I physically couldn’t, it felt as though my heart shrunk. I felt like I lost myself - my spark, my spunk, and my spirit left that day I walked away, and I have been looking for it ever since. I had nothing left, not even tears. I was so dried up, I couldn’t even cry anymore. All I had left was a big empty void of nothingness and a feeling of defeat.

That is until today.

Today I felt different. Even my clients noticed that my massage was different. And it wasn’t until they pointed out that it was “the best massage yet” that I realized why…I actually have a crush on someone! I have been pushing people (guys) away for so long because I felt it wasn’t fair to be in something when I emotionally couldn’t be there, when the most I could give was a friendship…and now it is not so. My head has been in a different space this week, and what is happening is that I am emanating a loving feeling, which apparently is showing.

* hands in the air, using evangelical preacher voice*

I can feel!

And others are noticing it. And even if the feeling and the crush is a fleeting one it won’t matter, because to me it already means that my capacity to love is returning and I am finally healing. It feels good to feel the flutter again. Could it possibly mean that I am ready to jump back in the game? Time will tell.

There’s more. Something cool happened last weekend that finally gave me some peace from my past. After five years, my Not-So-Mr.Forever called out of the blue to apologize last weekend when I came back from my Whistler trip. And THAT, my friends, was apparently all the closure I needed to move forward and move on.  Another piece of my past reclaimed; more to put towards my present.

I don’t know about you, but I am excited. I honestly didn’t think I would ever feel love again. I figured I would end up being that crazy cat lady that everyone talks about…and I don’t even want cats. And before you even ask, NO I am not going to tell you who my crush is. No one needs to know but me. But nice try!  ;o)

There is still hope for me yet sports fan. ;o) 

Day 109: Bridging The Culture Gap

When it comes to women, no matter what the age, religion, or culture we all have one common interest. Ok, well maybe not all of us, but most of us anyway. So when I gained two new international roommates this week whose first language is not English and who don’t always understand what I am trying to say, we bonded over the one thing we all had in common…our interest in boys.

Yes, it’s true. When it comes to likes, loves, and crushes the giddiness knows no cultural boundaries. So when I asked my roommate what she was watching and listening to, she was more than excited to introduce me to an onslaught of videos by a famous Korean boy band group called DBSK…short for a Korean word I don’t even know how to begin to pronounce. Hours flew by as the three of us gushed over the boy band beauties, and “just one more video” turned into twenty.

You know what I discovered? Not only do Koreans have talent, their music videos are really good, and their boy band hunnies are HOT! How could I not know this? Korea…you’ve been holding out on me!

For those interested in checking out the videos, here are the links:

Day 108: Time To Turn It Up A Notch!

I just realized that it is the beginning of another month, which means that it is update time. And boy do I have exciting news for you!

If you have been following me since the beginning you would know that I have been out of commission for the past five months and on the mend from a bad personal training injury and experience. I won’t mention names so that I don’t get sued, but the guy was a crock. I ended up going to physiotherapy for a few months to try and help, but it didn’t really do too much. I did get a pretty funny video out of it though!

In the meantime I have been on the down-low and resting up my leg as much as possible, which has helped immeasurably…but still not the same. I have been getting the itch to get up and go outside though since the weather has let up and the sunshine has been peeking out, so I figured I would try getting back into the swing of things and start exercising again. Not only that, but it is a good way to divert all the excess “other” energy I’ve got running through my veins. Geesh!

So I am looking to get fit as a fiddle, and for that I went straight to Ted Loo from Ted Loo Fitness (www.tedloofitness.com).

Not only did I find out he was the Georgia Straight “Best of Vancouver” winner, but he also creates programs for unique lives…and really, whose life isn’t? My body and my needs are different from everyone else’s, so it only makes sense that my exercising regime won’t be the standard cookie-cutter type either. My experience so far has been of fun and professionalism with a competent trainer who has the results I am after. In plain English…he knows what he is doing.

Not only that, but he also belongs to a reputable business network called BNI. And truth be told, I would pick anyone who belongs to a BNI chapter over any other because it requires dedication and it shows through in the business platform too. Honestly, I am business owner and I don’t have time to waste with people who can’t deliver and don’t know what they are doing. So over the next few months I will be hitting the gym once a week to get my butt back in shape and my health back on track. Starting with baby-steps.

As long as I don’t lose my butt though…I kind of like the booty look. KER-POW!  ;-)

…OOOOHHH!! I almost forgot. If you want to get in on the awesome training too and get on the health track with me, email ted@tedloofitness.com, mention my name (Nicole Van Damme if you still don’t remember) and this blog to get one free consultation & strength testing PLUS one free workout. It is definitely worth the time to check it out. Stay tuned for pictures of results...and see you at the gym!